Frankenpussy | Episode 294

All right, you guys, podcast time.

We got the equipment and the perfect business plan.

Give our show away for free and tell no one how to find it.

Ready?

I'm gonna start a podcast that has no focus, and it'll take up an inordinate amount of time.

Hey, everybody.

I don't know what's going on over here.

The Duchess is already yawning.

Or is she laughing at the chat?

I was laughing.

Have no idea.

Screeching like.

I don't know what happened.

Ah.

I don't know what happened, to be honest with you.

It's a Monday.

It's a Thursday.

It's a Monday.

Thursday.

Yeah.

Kind of day.

All right, everybody.

Well, you know what?

You know, the.

The beginnings are always a little sketchy around here.

I.

I try to throw a video in there for your entertainment so everybody can get in here and see what's going on and let everybody know what's happening.

Oh, if you don't know, my name is John Jamingo, and my co host over here, this is the Duchess.

Everybody loves the Duchess.

Who doesn't love the Duchess?

I'm sure a lot of people don't like.

No, stop it.

You're like the Kylie Kelsey of this show.

Everybody loves you.

You're so nice and.

And.

And lovable, and it's fantastic.

It's the best thing I've ever done about this podcast is have you come on here?

I mean, not even Jody could take and freshen up the show like you do.

He tried.

He tried a lot.

You know, I come in, I wreck every.

I'm like a bull in a china shop.

I come in and wreck everything and piss everybody off.

Wreck It Ralph.

Just.

Yeah, I'm Wreck It Ralph.

I come in here and blast through things, and then you're like the.

Oh, you know, you're just the nicest person.

The voice of reason.

Yes, the voice of reason.

Thank you.

That is true.

I love you, too.

All right, so busy.

Busy day in politic land and all this.

Oh, I can't keep up.

It's so hard.

I can't.

It's so hard.

But before we get into all that, we got to talk about this one thing, and I'm.

I'm shocked because, I mean, you want to talk about the government?

Can you.

And regulations.

The government.

The government in Ohio right now and Mississippi, they're putting a bill that aims to make ejaculation without intent a felony without intent to conceive.

No.

So it's called Conception Begins at the Erection act, which proposes fining men up to $10,000 for ejaculating without intent to conceive a child.

Oh, we could definitely fix the deficit for sure, like, in a week.

How did they find out?

What do they do?

They go around.

They break into somebody's house.

Where's your socks?

Yeah, we find your socks.

Where's your teenager socks?

Run around the house with a blue light, black light.

I was like, wow, wow, wow, wow.

Who.

Who introduced that bill?

I'm glad you asked.

This is Anita.

So many.

It looks like she needs Anita.

So, Manny.

So I have so many questions.

All right, so what happens?

So I guess condoms are out.

All right.

And you.

You know, now you have to.

You have to dump a load in.

All right, I get that.

But so what if the woman's on the pill?

Does that also make it where you're.

You're.

And is she capable to.

You know, because you know what they say?

Once it's inside, it's my load.

Right.

Dean says I just blew a million.

Dollars already with Duchess.

Reads books here.

Dean goes through a couple, you know, like, 20, 30 grand.

All right, so Anita Samani is currently serving her first term in state representative, Ohio's 11th district.

Is she Republican?

Honestly, this seems like a Republican.

It does seem like a very Republican thing to do because they're concerned about, you know, Dr.

Sabanti has worked in Columbus as a highly respected healthcare professional, currently in Oy O B G Y N.

So, yeah.

And then the other guy is this guy here.

No picture.

He's like, I'm not putting my picture up on mine.

He's in the dark because he doesn't want to be identified with how he is.

He's an.

An advocate for sustainability, economic justice and social equity.

Sustainability?

Like semen sustainability?

Yeah.

He wants you to hold out more.

Yeah.

His early work was at the Greater Cleveland Food bank, where he connected thousands of critical resources and successfully lobbied for increased state funding to his tenure on the Lakewood City Council.

He's always focused on meeting community needs through bold and innovated solutions.

All right, buddy.

I found.

I think I like this one line.

Oh, well.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

That's all right.

It's fine.

I'm so sorry.

It's all good.

Jesus.

Duchess was reading, and I.

John is done with something.

We're all done with it.

I prematurely ejaculated.

You prematurely ripcorded this article.

That'll be $10,000.

Oh, my God.

I already shot.

I already shot my load.

That's terrible.

Working in the reds.

Already shot my load.

Hold on.

There we go.

I'm sorry, what was the line?

The line that got me.

It says, again, it's.

Under his leadership, he became Lakewood, became the first Ohio suburb to commit to renewable energy.

But this line is demonstrating his ability to combine visionary policies with practical outcomes.

Those are practical.

Ma could hit him.

Oh.

Oh.

All right.

Well, Dean has a good question.

Go ahead, Dean.

What if she swallows it?

See, again, I don't think you can put it on.

I think it's a.

I think two of the three holes are no bueno.

I think you have to.

You have to leave it in the vajayjay, the hoo.

Ha.

So there is.

So it has a chance to become a baby.

Yeah, if you put it on.

If you put it on her or in the stink box or the pie hole.

I think that's also a violation.

I was thinking about trying to get.

See, we're at 6:30, right?

Pie Hall Protocol.

There's a title right there.

Pie Hole Protocol.

My God, where's my.

Where's my.

Write that shit down.

Write that shit down.

Pie Hole Protocol.

There's a title.

I've ever heard one.

I don't even know what the.

Okay.

But anyhow.

The bill has sparked heated debate, reflecting deep societal divisions over reproductive rights, religious interpretations, and the role of government in regulating personal choices.

It also touches on a broader issue such as influencing of Christian.

Christian nationalist groups advocating for laws based on strict interpretation of biblical teachings, including including opposition to contraceptives, IVF, and abortion.

The text references historical and theological debates such as the story of Onan in the Bible, which some interpret as a condon.

Condom condemnation.

Condom condemnation, condoms of birth control and masturbation.

So that's a very.

How does that even gonna work again?

It's.

How do you police.

You can't police it.

Well, okay, here's the deal.

I don't think anybody's gonna break in your house to see if you're, you know, shooting ropes on or you know, where you're shooting ropes in your household.

But if you get caught outside, you know, running off a hand batch of baby batteries, then I would imagine then that's where you could get fined for this.

And so don't ask, don't tell, essentially.

Well, I'm just saying it's the conception begins at erection act.

So.

Okay, so let's say you're in the movie.

Lisa spelled protocol for you.

Thank you.

I would have.

I would have had to have what's her name over here spelled to me later.

Hey, Alexa.

That's exactly it.

Yeah.

How do you spell?

That's what she does.

That's what she does all the time.

Someone was saying the other day, the kids today, they were, like, freaking out because they've been through college and everything.

They don't know how to spell because they don't know how to sound out words.

And I.

I don't know what my problem is because I went through phonics that I still can't spell.

It's my worst.

Worst.

Sometimes there's just so much you can push past the frontal lobe.

Do you remember?

Some things.

Don't.

I don't know if you.

I lived.

My grandmother lived with us from the time I was seven.

My mom's mom.

And that was her job with me, trying to get me to learn spelling words.

And then.

Poor soul.

Oh, my God, your poor grandmother.

Right.

In eighth grade.

In eighth grade English, you started out with one set of words and then the next.

So then you got a next set of words for the next week.

But what happened in eighth grade?

You had to remember she could give you any one of the words on any of the three weeks.

And it went all.

So all the way.

At the end, she could give you any word.

And my grandmother used to go in and I swear I used to make.

I think I took like five or six years off of her life.

I really.

Cause I'm a horrific speller.

Horrific.

And I couldn't spell horrific.

And now it starts with H and ends with a C, I think.

Horrific.

Yeah.

So.

Yeah.

But back to ejaculation, I don't think.

I think what they're trying to do here is, you know how women always have to take the burden of dealing with, you know, abortion and pregnancy.

This is the way that they're saying, oh, yeah, guys.

Well, you know what we're going to do?

We're going to make it.

If you spill your seed, you're in trouble.

You're in trouble.

But they can't really.

They can't really know.

Yeah, exactly.

They can't really enforce.

Takes the cops enough time to show up for shit.

You're gonna call them for, like, your dude whacked off and you're mad, so you're gonna call the cops on them.

They're like, we're not coming out for that call.

Like, there's no way.

The mother starts banging on the bathroom door.

Paulie, if you don't stop waxing your carrot in there, I'm calling the police.

No, mom, not that shower.

There's not gonna be any more hot water.

Left for the rest of the night.

We were show.

We were listening to where they were talking about.

Oh, never mind.

They were talking about beating off in a sock in one of the podcasts and, you know, and how many guys have beat off into a sock?

And I was like, I didn't even probably.

I gotta be honest with you.

I.

And I.

I know people are gonna say, this is bullshit.

I didn't know that was a thing until I was like, in my 40s or 50s.

I was like, who the fuck use.

Why use a sock?

I didn't understand the whole.

And then.

And then I didn't.

I'm like, you do you lube the sock and then use the sock?

I did.

I had to have somebody explain.

I don't know.

Yeah.

I had to ask Jimmy.

I'm like, what's the sock thing, Jimmy?

Oh.

Have you ever used the sock?

Well, Johnny.

Oh, socks.

A perfect way so they don't get it all over the sheets.

Oh, my God.

See, what you got to do is you got to put it over your head, kind of like a sock puppet, and then you.

You slide your.

Your meat whistle in there.

And then.

Well, you know what to do.

You know how to handle it after that.

Hear him say it.

That's it.

Seems like I could ask him that and he would answer that tomorrow.

Exactly what he just said.

I find that dress socks work better.

They're stretchier.

I prefer them.

Yeah.

Smoother.

It's very hard to use a footy.

They're very, very hard.

But he's.

The tube socks.

Yeah.

Oh, gross.

Oh, my God.

I just thought it was kind of an interesting story.

See, stories like this are only made for podcasts.

Like, soon as this thing hits the.

Like, there'll be 45 to 50 podcasters will talk about this story because that's what it's.

It's the only thing that's there for.

They can't make it.

A law.

Would never be a law.

You can't.

There's no way it's unenforceable.

Exactly.

Unless you got caught in the actual.

And then $10,000 on you.

Yeah, a $10,000 fine.

All right, I'm down with that.

I'm okay with that.

You're willing to pay a $10,000 fine if you get back at all.

No, no, no.

You know what?

But see, I won't have a $10,000 fine.

You know why?

Because I won't.

I won't play with myself in.

In public.

Where was it?

I.

There was a story.

It's coming just it's just fading into my mind where there was a guy, and he was in the parking lot, and I guess he decided that he needed a little release, so he.

He started masturbating in the parking lot.

But here he was so close to a school that when the police walked up on him.

Yeah.

They caught him within a.

Masturbating in within 100 yards of a school.

And he got in big, big trouble for that.

He can't really just.

And then again, you know, nothing for nothing, but he just happened to be near a school, in a parking lot, masturbating, you know.

Creepy.

I'm sorry.

All right.

You can't.

Wait.

Not you personally, but, like, in.

Like, you can't.

Like, if you got a.

Isn't it just, like.

Like, wouldn't that just make you want to get home faster?

Well, like.

Like, is it that, like, you get that urge so badly you have to pull your car over, like, and just rip out a sock somewhere?

I've never had it where something like that happened or.

Well, I don't know.

Like, sometimes some guys would come home with, like, one flap out over here.

One flap out.

All right, so when you were a teenager and you were with your girl, and this was before sex and all that, you know, sometimes there would be, like, grinding going on, and then the grinding would lead to a.

A messy situation.

Yeah, a messy, messy situation.

So you didn't want to go home with a spot in the front of your pants.

Oh.

You took it, untucked your shirt, and came home with one tail out.

So your mom's like, tuck your shirt.

I'll do it later.

Mom, I'm on my way upstairs.

Don't touch anything.

Yeah, I'm going upstairs to peel my underwear off.

All right.

Bob said, raise your hand if you've wanked it in a car.

I.

No.

Who.

Why?

Why would you wank in a car?

Whatever.

I don't know.

What do I know?

Just adults.

None of that would.

That was.

We Used to Be shit.

That was shameful back in the day.

See, the nuns still stick with you.

Yeah, I think a little bit.

A little bit that Catholic shame.

Catholic guilt.

Yeah, Catholic guilt.

I think it does.

Dean says, I dated a woman who had both flaps out.

That's a different story.

Dean, that's a you problem.

That's my friend.

That's a you problem.

Right.

You know, I understand the two flaps out.

Two flaps out, flaps down.

Dinner.

Sorry.

Yeah, I got it.

You know.

You know, it's a.

It's a crapshoot around Here with what we're gonna.

Yeah.

You have no idea what we're gonna talk about.

I'm sorry.

All right, all right, hold on.

Let's.

Here we go.

Changing the subject now.

All right.

So have you ever.

Is that you or me?

Might be my house on fire.

I'm not sure.

Do you need to check that?

No.

Is somebody home?

Mute, though.

Paul's home.

Why would your smoke detector be going off?

I have no idea.

Paul cooking?

Yeah.

Oh, Paul's cooking.

Paul's.

What's Paul cooking?

Either that or he's listening to the show, and the next thing you know, he didn't have any lube.

You can't shut the power because it's.

It's over here.

So I won't.

I won't get Tammy.

This shows.

So.

This show's so hot, it sets off Duchess's smoke detector.

Rare.

All right.

I don't know what kind of person you are, Duchess.

Right now.

You know, this actually works right into what we're going to talk about, and it's called micro pettiness.

Well, that could be happening right now.

Micro pettiness is refers to a small, often trivial act of spite.

Pettiness, or passive aggressiveness in an everyday interaction.

These actions are typically minor.

It might seem insignificant on their own, but they can accumulate, creating tension and conflict over time.

Examples might include a rude note, making a snide comment, setting off the smoke detector during a podcast recording, and, you know, ignoring somebody.

The term is often used to describe behaviors in the workplace, relationships, social settings, or individuals where they engage in underhanded actions.

Right.

You know, like, say, if you're frustrated now, I.

I'm not a micro petty guy.

No, no, I'm right out.

Just very blunt.

Let you know how I feel right away.

I don't do that.

How about you?

Are you a micro.

Yes.

Yeah.

I'm micro petty.

And I think it's.

It's probably not appropriate, but I am.

I have the snide comments.

I don't leave notes, and I don't ignore.

I've ignored people sometimes.

Oh, yeah.

Through conversations.

Just because I'm just like, I'm not gonna engage or I'm not.

I don't want to engage.

So.

So, yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, I like to think I'm.

I'm pretty good at being petty.

And like Aaron says, it's, you know, macro petty is much more fun, but micro petty is just that little.

That little bit.

I have one that you do when we're on the show here.

If I'm saying Something and you disagree with it.

You talk under me with little snide remarks.

That's a.

That's a micro petty.

That's a micro petty thing.

Well, that's probably true, but I don't.

I don't think I respond.

I think it's just.

I'm being.

I'm having a snotty remark back.

And I don't mean to speak under you, but I.

I do.

I think it's a micro.

I think this is exactly what this is.

A micro, petty thing.

Yeah.

Because I'll be sitting there saying something like the time I freaked out.

I'm like, what's that?

I was goofing to say, I don't know what you're talking about.

Oh, no, it was like the time we were talking and I was saying something.

You're like, yeah, people, kids, children, whatever.

Yeah.

And I'm trying to talk.

And then I finally went, I know what I'm saying over here.

See that micro macro.

Your micro.

Mine is a macro.

Yeah.

It's weird.

I don't know.

You have any that you can think of that you've done in the past that you.

Oh, it's definitely this.

The snide comments for sure.

But I also have a bad case of, like, I have no poker face, so I'll definitely.

As people are talking, I've been trying, but it's.

I just fail at it.

I'm not good at it.

So if somebody pretty much knows I'm not thrilled with what they're saying when it's.

It's usually like side eyes or eye rolls or something.

Oh, the eye rolls.

Yeah.

You're used to those.

I'm used to.

Definitely used to the eye rolls.

We played that one video where you're like doing all the eye rolls and.

Yeah.

She speaks under you because she's polite and doesn't want to talk over you sometimes.

No, no, actually, I think that's.

I think it's when I'm talking, she's.

She's disagreeing with me and she doesn't want me to get my point out.

In a way.

In a way.

I have done that occasionally, but not every time.

Sometimes I'm just commentating along and like, you'll say, well, this person did this.

And I'm like, idiot.

Like.

Like I'm.

It's like an.

An undercurrent of comment.

Right.

But it's not to be petty at you.

It's just more just.

It's my point of view too.

It's both saying it like, if I'm talking about, like, the moon landing being fake.

And I have a story about.

Look, there it is right there.

There it is.

That's not micro.

That's.

That's a response.

Yeah.

All right, so, okay, want to hear how meta this is going to get?

I heard this on a podcast.

Who heard it on a podcast.

Wow.

Who heard it on a podcast that another was messing around?

No.

So anyhow, so it's like fourth wall podcast now.

This is.

So they were talking about micro pettiness and they had, like, examples.

Now, I don't know if anybody in the chat here would have any micro pettiness things that they do to their significant other, their kids or something.

Any other examples?

Throw them in a chat.

This one, When I heard this one, I was in fury.

I got infuriated because this used to happen to me.

And I know.

I fucking know now that this was micro pettiness.

Hide the remote at the house.

So when you come home and you're trying to turn the TV on, there's no remote.

Now, when I was living, when I was married, and I would come home from work and I would go to what I would take, I would know.

I would take the remote and I would put it right where I knew it would be when I got home from work, because I would come home from work and couldn't find a damn remote.

I'm like, who takes the remote?

The TV's right here.

Why would someone.

Why in the hell would someone carry the remote out of the room?

Why is it.

Why is.

Who's taking my remote?

Who are these people?

And so was it your ex, like, being like, would she move it specifically?

Like, put it in the other room?

I don't know.

Because it couldn't find it.

It would.

It would infuriate.

And then she'd come back, here it is.

Or whatever.

And I'm like, yeah.

How did I.

How did it get there?

So.

Well, this one person would hide the remote, but they had on their phone, they had a remote, TV remote on their phone.

So they could use the remote, but the other person couldn't find it.

Here's another one.

This one, this.

I change it while they're watching it.

Like, I don't know what happened.

Say you go over someone's house, right?

And you're over an acquaintance house, and the guy, like, says something.

He's a jamingo.

He's over there spouting his bullshit off.

And he's thinking he knows what he's talking about.

Yeah.

He said, no, it all, you know, he thinks he's funny, all that shit.

What they do is they go to the remote, they take one fucking battery out of the remote and leave it.

Leave with it.

I was like, son of a.

That would drive me insane.

Or at it right away.

Like if it didn't work after a minute, wouldn't.

The first thing you do is look at the batteries, right?

But if a wife does it, what she does is she takes one battery out and then hides the other batteries in the house.

So now the guy's.

Where's the fucking batteries?

That's so much work.

All right, I got one.

That the Jimmy's brother Mike, he does this to the Jimmy so much so that when we talk about.

I do it now.

So.

So Jimmy will say something like, he'll walk up and say, did some.

When are you gonna bring the trash cans in?

And then Mike would go, when am I going to bring the trash cans in?

He would say it right over.

Like Jimmy would ask him a question and he would repeat to it just like the way in the tone of voice I get one.

When am I going to bring the trash cans in?

Just repeat the question.

Adam just repeats the question with a like, like almost like a head turn.

And Jimmy, oh my God, the next.

Time I come over, loses a.

It's so funny.

I do it now.

Like Jimmy will call me.

He called me today and he said something to me and I went.

And I.

I did the exact same thing to him.

I forget what he said.

And he goes, he goes, you know what the fuck I'm talking about?

Yes, Jimmy, I know what you're talking about.

What are you doing?

What am I doing?

That's exactly.

That's a micro pettiness thing.

That's.

Well, no, that's not.

That's.

That's petty because it's.

Well, it could be micro because it's.

It's small.

It's just enough to, you know, just.

What's gonna.

You're just hitting that nerve button that just will make them like.

All right.

So also when I was, you know.

Like Bob would do to you.

Yes, yes, yes.

He commented further up in the comments.

He said something about it.

Yeah.

All right.

So then my.

This is another thing my ex wife used to do.

I would live.

My.

My mother in law lived with us and she was very hard of hearing.

So she would walk around and she would talk to her mother like, hey, Mom.

You know, she would yell, you know, talk louder, mom, hear it me.

She would go in the other room and say, and I'm like what?

God damn it, I can't hear you.

And she would do that shit to me all the time.

I said, you know, I'm.

You know, I'm hard hearing.

Talk to me like I'm your mother.

You're not as old as my mother.

You okay?

I still can't hear you.

Right.

So you know what I would do?

What?

Pay attention.

I would make it sound like she didn't even say anything.

She'd be in the other room and I'd be sitting there going, like.

I'm not answering her.

I don't hear nothing.

I hear nothing.

She'd come out, she goes, do you hear me talking to you?

Nope.

Not at that tone.

No wonder why we're divorced.

Who's micro petty?

That was you?

Yeah, I would do it.

I got.

Hey, listen, once, you know, once I'm in the game, I play the game.

What can I tell you?

Here's one.

Here's one.

Here's what you could do at work.

Take a little bit of honey on a Q tip and dab it on a couple of keyboard keys.

Oh, God.

I'd be like, ah, that would make me nuts.

All right, now that works for me now is like, kind of a germaphobe, right?

So now you got it on your fingers and you're typing that.

It's on all your keys.

All right, so now you got to wipe your fingers off.

Then you got to do your key.

It's on your keys again.

Oh, my God.

Now I got to clean my keys off.

That's a good one.

That's mean.

This was a genius one that I thought.

In a microwave, take the spinny plastic thing out of the microwave so the dish doesn't go around in a circle.

Oh, that's funny.

Or just start, like, it could start to turn and it just, like, clunks.

Yeah, clunk.

Yeah.

You know, set off the fire.

Smoke alarm, you know.

Here's another one.

Take the phone charger out of the wall.

Leave the cord, the cords there.

No phone charger.

Come over block.

Yeah, take the block.

Leave the cord.

Yeah, it's little things.

Hide the remote.

Move the salt shakers, like, just shit.

That's always in the same spot.

Just they're no longer there.

The one, the one lady on the podcast, she just.

She has a child, a small child.

So she's, you know, just nursing the child.

So she's got to get up at 4 o'clock in the morning to breastfeed the child.

She'll do.

She'll take her phone out and she'll text her husband, we need milk.

This way he knows that she had to be up at 4:15 feeding the baby.

So he knows this or wakes him up or something like that.

All that kind of stuff.

You know what?

You know, I, I feel like is micro petty is I don't like when my cabinet doors are open.

Oh, it's, it's a little pet peeve of mine.

I prefer like if I walk out and like the cabinets are open or all the lights are on, like.

Because I feel like sometimes I live with someone who gives no regard to.

And I think it's just.

He just wanders around and that's what he does.

It's not.

But I'm behind him, like, and I.

And I don't close them gently.

It' bam, bam, bam.

Like every time.

What are you slamming them for?

Why the.

Are they open?

They're sitting down, eating.

They were been open for 20 minutes.

And yes, the toilet paper not put on the holder, right?

Empty.

Empty holder and then the toilet paper on top of it.

Please, like, just don't even, just use it and don't even put it on.

Don't even fake like you're interested in making that work.

The one lady said, what she does is when she'll go home with her Starbucks cup that's still like from her iced coffee and then she'll take it, she'll get out of the car and she'll walk by and she'll put it on the trash can.

Oh, that's fucking.

That would make me wild.

Not in the trash can or the trash can.

I would put it back in her car.

See, that's.

Well, if that's the game, right?

See, once we're in the game, we're playing the game.

Once you, if you put it on the.

That's, that's.

Or my daughter used to get mad at this all the time.

And I said, what are you doing?

So if someone leaves you on red, as the kids say.

So in other words, I turned this off my phone so people don't know when I read the text or not, right?

Because I don't want them to know I read it because then I have, you know, deniability.

Liable to respond.

Yeah.

So if, if someone sees, like, say she texts her boyfriend at 10 o'clock and then he looks at it at 10, 10 and doesn't answer her until after like 2 o'clock.

It drives her insane.

Yeah.

And I'm like, well, maybe he was busy, saw it and said, all right, when I get a chance to do this I'll.

Don't.

Don't even logic right.

It was time to read it.

I didn't see that last.

That other text came up real quick.

I didn't get a chance to see what it was.

So Bob put this up and he says to Whoops.

To load your dirty dishes but leave a fork.

You didn't dirty petty.

Oh yes, Sparky, you can turn off the I read your text thing.

Yeah, you can turn that off.

Yeah.

Gotta go into your message settings.

Yeah, that makes me.

Yeah, that's another thing.

My kids used to do that like I would like a thing for me.

Like I don't like when I come home from work and the, the sink was like full of dishes.

Especially when I left and it was no dishes.

I have a dishwasher that I probably emptied before I left.

So I put dishes in it and then I'd leave for work.

I would come home, the kids would have been home for a couple hours.

Dishes everywhere.

I would lose my mind.

Why the is there dishes in the sink?

Like you walk.

They walk past the dishwasher with dirty dishes to put it in the sink.

So a couple years of that, they finally start putting shit in the dishwasher and now they live on their own with their boyfriends.

The text messages I get why he doesn't put the spoons in the dishwasher.

He leaves it on the edge.

I'm just ha ha ha.

And they now they're like, I get it.

Like yeah, it makes you insane.

It's silly little petty things.

I had one time where I was between places.

Like I had.

I got left, I got left one apartment and I was waiting to get into another apartment.

So I was living with the girl I was dating and she had two teenage 20 something kids, two girls and we didn't live together, live together like another.

She had like a back area almost like a mother in law spot.

And I had my.

So I was in there and then the girls were out there.

So she would go to work, the kids would be home all day, leave the whole sink full of dishes.

Then the mother would come home, have to clean all the dishes and then make dinner.

Well, oh no.

Oh no.

So what I did was I would start like I knew she'd be home at like 4:35.

I would go out there and make sure all the dishes were done.

I would go out there and clean, do all the dishes, you know, put the dishes away.

If there was dirt, I would do all that stuff.

And then she'd.

You're like Mooching.

Not mooching, but you were there, like.

You earned your keep.

Listen, I appreciate someone's coming home to make dinner.

You know, how about have a clean kitchen?

Clean kitchen for them?

Is that, you know, is that too much to ask for?

Apparently.

Then I got yelled at because, why?

You're teaching them.

I'm teaching them that somebody else will do it for him.

I go, but then you come.

But she's done nothing for nothing.

You come home and do it.

She goes, yeah, but I'm their mother.

She says, you're.

They're taking advantage of you.

I'm like, I don't mind.

She goes, no, no, I.

I understand.

You don't take advantage of everybody there.

Yeah.

Stop it.

Stop doing it.

I'm like, okay, all right.

But, yeah, that kind of stuff.

I don't know.

I just.

It's funny now you've run back.

Like, my.

I have tapes running in my head.

My mother.

My mother, such lovely gifts.

Good woman.

But, you know, we all have our faults, right?

I remember she.

I did not clean my room, and I came home, and she had upended everything out of my bureau, dumped it on the floor in a pile.

Like, as soon as enclosed my door.

Like, all my clothes were in the middle of my room.

And, like, when I got home and I walked down the hallway, my doors closed.

I'm like, oh.

And I just opened up, and it was just a mound of clothes.

I was just like.

So I had to put all them away.

But, yeah, my mother was the queen of.

Like, if I left in the sink, she'd put it in my bed.

Like, she'd put it in my bed.

Wet washcloth, put it in the bed.

Didn't care.

She told me to pick it up, and I didn't do it.

I did it a couple times to the girls, and I was like, I can't.

I can't.

I can't.

I can't do that.

I threatened.

I would threaten to put it in their bed.

But I didn't.

But.

But, yeah, that's the.

Oh, the gifts that stay behind.

Right.

See, I used to get the glass of water in the face if I didn't get out of bed.

When I was told to get out of bed, like, I would get the glass of.

You know, my dad would come in and go, get up.

Yeah.

So when my girls wouldn't get up, I was.

I figured, no, I can't hit him with a glass of water.

So what I did was I would just get a spray bottle.

Like a cat.

Yeah.

And then I got yelled at for that.

Yeah.

I wasn't allowed to do the.

The kid's agent.

My ex wife would scream and yell, don't do that.

That's a horrible way.

You ruin their day when you wait.

Yeah.

How about me?

I'm over here screaming and yelling for him to get out of bed.

You're a lunatic.

Before you go to work.

I would go to work with, like, chest pains.

Like, I was so mad at my kids.

I was just like, like.

Because my kids would, like, you know, my.

My youngest would stay in bed till like, literally the point.

I'm like, apoplectic.

And then she'd like, roll out of bed and be out the door in like eight minutes or something.

Like, she would just screech it out the door.

The older one always took forever.

Oh, my God.

They never wanted to get up.

Who does, right?

Nobody does.

But it's like I'm like, screaming like I'm a normal human.

Why do I have to go through this girl?

Sparky said I.

My mom, I don't know if she had a punishment for empty toilet paper holder.

Honestly, I don't recall.

Maybe it was beat out of me.

I don't know.

Aaron says he used ice cubes.

Did you throw them, like, off them or you just, like, leave it in their bed?

Like, just slide it in while they're sleeping?

Yeah, it's just like.

Because you gotta.

Again, they have to be.

You know, you tell them once, you tell them twice.

Listen, my dad used to.

He would tell you once, he would tell you a second time in case you didn't hear him the first time.

The third time, you better be quick because you'd get a backhand.

Hear those feet coming back.

He wouldn't.

He'd sneak up, he'd give you one of them with the backhand to catch you either behind the head or one right on the cheekbone.

He'd give you.

Sometimes.

So you learn on the back of.

The legs, usually with like a spoon or a fly swatter.

Yeah, like that wire part of the fly.

Not the swatter, the actual handle.

Like that.

Oh, it was.

I said.

I was talking.

We're talking about kids, right?

I remember one time my dad said something to me.

It was like dinner time.

And I.

He said, you go do this.

And I said, I'm not.

I screamed at him at the top of my life, I will not do it.

And he got up to go come after me.

And I ran upstairs.

As I'm running up the stairs, he's coming up behind me and we had these big old.

The house was built in 1856, so it had the old doors with the skeleton key.

So I go.

I shut the door.

As I'm trying to lock the door, he kicks the door open, and the doorknob hits me right between the eyes.

I look like a raccoon.

I had two black eyes.

So then I go to school the next day, and they go, what happened to you?

I said, well, my dad kicked the door, and the doorknob hit me in the face.

And then, you know, I got two black.

Yeah.

And they're like, well, what'd you do to deserve that?

Right?

Obviously, yeah.

Nothing.

Like, you know, call the police or anything today.

You'd be in jail.

Yeah.

For that, Shawna.

Shit.

My dad would say, take karma.

My dad would say, take me to jail.

I don't care.

It'll be a couple days off.

Three squares and a cut.

Right?

Three ounce of the car.

Not to put up with this.

Can hear him now.

Put up with this.

Yeah, they got put up this from.

You see what he would say to me.

Oh, my God.

Oh, that was a fun trip down memory lane.

I know.

All right.

So you know my girlfriend, Nancy Mace?

You know how I like.

I say crazy Nancy.

Crazy Nancy.

You know, I think she's like.

She's got that crazy.

I knew you'd like her, okay?

And now I know why.

Because I'm very attracted.

Yeah, exactly.

So at the end of the Senate some, or at.

During the House of Representatives, like most people, the business is done, and then someone will come up and they'll do a speech for like an hour.

No, like they filibuster it or something.

Kind of filibuster.

So Nancy went on this speech on the House floor for.

For.

For an hour.

Almost an hour, 53 minutes.

If you want to watch the whole thing, go watch.

Go to her Twitter X profile.

It's pinned.

The whole 53.

She gets in there.

And here's the thing.

I didn't know that if you say something on the House floor, you're not liable or you can't get hit for libel or slander.

I didn't know that.

I didn't either.

So apparently she's had a thing.

She's accusing her ex fiance and three other South Carolina men.

I'm not using their names because we can get sued.

I wouldn't.

Yeah.

She, on the floor, accused them of drugging, raping, and filming assaults on women, including herself.

She claimed to.

So what happened was.

So she's engaged to this guy, and she Says, let me see your phone and whatever.

She got his phone.

She goes into his phone, she finds all these images where he's got upskirt pictures where he's taking pictures of.

Of like.

And of her or other women.

Other women, his friends, wives.

So there's all this shit going on now.

Allegedly, allegedly.

There was a camera in the bedroom and they were photo.

They were recording them having sex with different women.

Right.

This is like almost like an Epstein thing.

So she goes on and I mean, she's just bip, bip, bip, right down the road with everything.

She says that she thinks that she was also drugged because she was drinking some vodka and just like had a drink of vodka.

And the next thing there, she woke up and she didn't real, you know, didn't know what happened to her and all.

So she goes on this crazy speech for like an hour and a half.

She's got glass, she's got props.

She's got like props boards, you know, with text on them.

And.

And I'm like, holy shit.

So she gives me like girlfriend key, stabby in the back energy.

She's right up my.

Definitely right up my alley.

But so now here's the weird part.

Apparently one of these.

All right, so she accuses these guys, calls him out by name, goes through the whole thing.

And I'm not going to lie, she was dressed in this white dress.

She looked amazing.

As she's talking about her abuse.

Well, listen, if you're going to.

If you're going to talk about abuse.

Well, of course she's going to wear white.

What do you think she's going to wear?

Red?

I don't know, but she white.

She looks like a victim.

It was working.

It was working.

So here they think she's going to try to run for governor of South Carolina.

The person that's going to run again against her is one of the people that apparently she is accused of.

She's named Nice.

She's named in this.

So yeah, it was pretty.

Let's see.

She said previously shared her experience of sexual assault, including being raped at 16, less than 14.

The South Carolina Law Enforcement Division opened an investigation into this person in 2023 based on the information from Capitol Police, but no charges have ever been filed.

The person is a co founder of a software development company and TV production company.

So it's going to be something to pay attention to.

Yeah, for sure.

I.

If you got an hour to listen to this, it's, it's.

She really laid this thing all out by the end I was like, those sons of John's, like, round them up.

I'll get them.

Round them up.

Let's round them up and swing them.

I'll be your white knight.

Yep.

Get the horses.

Get the horses.

Get the rope.

Build the Gallows.

So did.

So in 2023.

Did.

Is this what happened in 2023?

So she's.

She's going through some kind of.

Like, they were engaged.

They broke off the engagement, but she's.

And she's in some kind of real estate.

Like, she's.

They bought houses together.

Right.

I remember that.

Did she call the regular police?

Save this story up?

I think she.

No, no, she did.

And nothing was happening.

So then she took it to the floor.

But, you know, like, she's got this thing now, like, come at me, bro.

You know, she's.

That's her.

You know, this is her battle cry.

Yeah.

She doesn't want any men and women's spaces.

You know, she doesn't want the representative from Delaware to come into the ladies room because it's a trans woman.

So good times.

Yay.

But really, here's one.

She's a broken mess.

That one.

French gynecologist suspended, had his license suspended for not treating a trans woman.

Essentially.

It's like not wanting to have a customer and bake them a cake.

They.

That you don't believe in, right?

Really?

I mean, kinda.

Well, wouldn't it be the same thing?

It's a.

It's health care.

They can.

There's plenty of doctors.

This trans woman wanted to.

Got her.

The trans woman came in and wanted a gynecological exam.

A what exam?

A gynecological.

Gynecological.

Gynecological.

She wanted her.

She want vocabulary lessons with John Dominguez.

Sure.

So this French doctor was suspended for a month with an additional five months probation after a transgender patient accused him of being transphobic.

The doctor, can't you choose your clients?

The doctor said that he only treats real women.

Claimed that he lacked the skills to treat men, even if they identify as a woman.

The patient left shock and transgender and.

And transgender rights organizations filed complaints in defense of the patient.

Now, what I would do if I was that doctor?

I'd say, yeah, go ahead, ma'am, get up in the stairs.

Come on back.

Right.

And what are those things that they put in.

In speculum.

Right?

I would take a speculum and jam it in his pee hole, and I would start cranking that motherfucker up until he started squealing like a pig.

I said, we got to get in there.

We got to get in there.

And then I would take a, some kind of scraper and I would get in there and I'd give him a good scraping pap smear.

Smear of his life.

Yeah, I would do that.

And then, and then I'd flip her him over and then give him a good old fashioned prostate exam too.

He'd get that.

Go ahead.

Sorry.

No, I mean, I mean he would get the whole.

Yeah, okay, I'm sorry, you want me to go in there and you want me to go tunnel bunny in there?

Fine, I'll go in.

My question, I have several.

So if his patient who was a man has.

Man.

Yeah.

Beans and franks tucked inside.

Okay.

Beans and franks.

Beans and franks.

Or well, even if they've gone through the surgery and it's the Audi's now in India.

Oh yeah.

I don't know if he has beans and franks.

Okay, well, let's assume the beans and franks are gone.

Okay.

And it's a trans woman.

What is a female trained gynecologist going to do for.

For that patient?

I would get.

They have not.

If they have not had any kinds of education or schooling or knowledge.

How is that doctor going to treat that patient?

Listen, it would be like going like, I want a gynecological appointment, but I'm going to go to an ear doctor.

What I would do, it makes no sense.

If I was that gynecologist.

Let's say that the, the beans and franks were removed and basically what they do is they fillet the penis, they turn it inside, they jam it in there.

I would get that speculum and jam it in there, crank that out and then I would get like.

What are those things?

Parts.

There's no inside parts.

Exactly.

But I would get this like a water pick.

Yeah.

I get in there and I'd spray a water pick in there and I'd get a tongue depressor and I'd scrape all the goop out of that thing, right?

And then I throw in, I don't know, some pet fresh.

I'd throw some pet fresh in there so it wouldn't stink so bad.

Cat litter.

Yeah, throw a little kitty litter in there.

There's nothing to.

It's just a fucking balloon.

It's like a balloon before you blow it up.

Yeah, exactly.

What.

How this doctor got of any kind of malpractice issues is insane.

Unless this doctor completely says he specializes in that.

I would think if you're looking for a specialty doctor, you find one that treats what you have.

Well, I'M just saying.

The French Medical Council ruled the doctor's behavior as totally abnormal.

The doctor later apologized and offered to.

Doctor is abnormal.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh.

The doctor later apologized and offered to refer the patient to a specialist.

The case highlights broader issues of discrimination as 50% of transgender people in France reportedly cancel or delay medical appointments to avoid such treatment.

The doctor has a right to appeal the suspension.

I hope that doctor.

You know what?

I hope that doctor appeals the suspension, because I think that's a load of shit.

Now, just based on that information, if this doc, if this person had come there and the doctor's office indicated they could, and they would, and then threw them out at the last minute, I.

I can see maybe there's an issue.

But if you don't have all the lady parts, and I'm not talking about an inside out wiener, that's not it.

You don't have a cervix.

You don't have flopping tubes.

You don't have uterus.

Like, there's nothing there.

What is he looking at?

What is he looking at?

You're bringing your new vag there for someone to, like, admire.

Find a doctor who fixes that, who works on that specifically.

Yeah, I just said, hey, treat trans patients.

That's a very specified procedure.

Listen, I would have said, hey, who gave you the Franken pussy?

Go back to whoever gave you the Franken Pussy.

That's another good title.

Franken.

I know how you can do show art for that one, but I'm sure.

It'Ll involve a cat.

All right.

A cat robot with bolts in its neck.

Franken Pussy.

What happened?

What?

She got.

She's got the Franken pussy.

Yeah.

So that is ridiculous.

Yeah.

I'd have said to the doctors, what do you want from me?

It's a.

Dude.

The parts aren't there.

That doctor studied for certain parts.

None of those parts are there.

What do you want me to do?

You want me to get a baby bottle brush and some soapy water?

Get in there and scrub out her hole.

What do you want me to do in here?

You know, don't they get some Simon eyes and wax it?

I read Reddit and I read a lot of weird boards sometimes.

I'm sorry, I read them and a lot.

A lot of the stories always seem to be these.

The.

These trans women who have gone through the procedure and they have their new Franken vagina there.

Franken pussy put stuff in it to stretch it out.

Like.

Yeah, they got to keep a.

It's called a gauge.

Like, with Your ears.

So what is the doctor gonna do?

What is the doctor gonna do?

Are you just showing it off?

You just get a, you get a gauge and a hammer and you in there and then you open it up?

Yeah.

It doesn't self.

It doesn't self clean, I would imagine.

It doesn't self clean.

It doesn't do all the fun things that, that we get to have all the fun vagina fun things.

All the fun things that real vaginas.

Go through all that.

But well, it's.