Puppy Pile | Episode 276

All right, you guys, podcast time.

We got the equipment and the perfect business plan.

Give our show away for free and tell no one how to find it.

Ready?

I'm going to start a podcast that has no focus, and it'll take up an inordinate amount of time.

Yes.

Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, to another riveting episode of the Boomer Bunker, the podcast that tackles the tough topics, share some laughs, and dive headfirst into the sea of controversy.

With no life jackets in sight, I'm thrilled to introduce your hosts, the dynamic duo who bring wisdom, wit, and a whole lot of candor.

First up, she's the voice of reason with a dash of sass.

Not tonight.

Always ready to call it like she sees it.

The Duchess.

And joining her, he's the no nonsense sidekick, armed with bold opinions and a bald head that's ready to shine.

John Jamingo.

Together they'll navigate the latest headlines, dive into deep debates, and maybe even share a p.

Bucket anecdote or two.

So buckle up and get ready for a conversation that's as lively as it is enlightening.

Without further ado, here are Duchess and Jamingo.

Well, how we doing?

Welcome back, Duchess.

I am so glad you're.

Listen, next time you take off, no more guest hosts.

That's it.

No.

What would you do?

I may have a vacation in mind.

Well, I.

We're not going to do the show.

That's what was going to happen.

Oh, no.

All right, so I have to break the.

I'm going to break the fourth wall.

Okay.

The Duchess has been drinking.

I have.

She's had already had two glasses of wine.

She's on her third.

This is number three.

Yeah.

So look at the size of those glasses.

So this ought to be.

It's only that much at the bottom.

Oh, now, now.

It's only that much at the bottom.

Right.

I've been here about 20 minutes, so.

Yeah.

Holy cow.

Yes.

Well, I'm celebrating.

Okay, so what are you celebrating?

So, at my office, there's been a lot of things changing around and upgrades and downgrades and things like that, and I was offered a new.

A little bit more money, and I accepted.

Oh, very nice celebrating.

Yay me.

Geez, just hope no one finds out about this podcast, because I would hate for that to go away.

Oh, Dean, no more Edward.

All right, so here's the problem with Edward, because Edward is a very, very, very talented guy.

I know this, all right?

I listen to his podcast.

He's a talented guy.

The issue with Edward is that when he Gets in here, he tightens up.

I don't think he likes to do live.

And some people don't.

Some people, yeah, some people, their balloon knot puckers up where you couldn't pound a pin up their ass with a five pound sledgehammer.

I get it, I get it.

All right.

So he came on here and he said if you go and listen to his show.

Am I canceled?

This past one, they talk about what happened and they, you know.

And well, he'd actually done it before he came on the show.

So he kind of says, he's like, I don't know what's going to happen.

So he's already nervous, which is.

I mean, we're just here to have some fun.

That's all.

That's all I had to say.

Hello.

Everybody's coming in.

Wow.

Welcome, welcome.

It's so much fun.

So thank you everybody for the congratulations.

I.

I do appreciate that.

Yeah, congratulations.

That's a.

That's really.

That's good stuff.

And I am still in charge of the comments.

I can't see any comments.

As long as I can click on them, I'm good.

Look, I'm producing today.

I'm gonna do my best.

We're using Streamyard for the second time.

I think I have everything set up, but who knows?

So we'll see what happens.

Well, between you figuring Streamyard out and me having a few drinks, it'll be a great episode no matter what.

We'll see.

Because let's get into our very first topic of the day.

I saw a tweet which I decided to respond to.

Didn't realize it was going to cause an uproar.

Yes, you did.

So here it is.

Jessica M.

On Twitter said, women deal with periods, pregnancy and menopause.

What do women.

What do men deal with?

And I wrote back, we deal with women who have periods, pregnancy and menopause.

Believe me, it's no picnic.

Okay, so with.

With that, how many daughters do you have?

Just.

I have four daughters, so I know.

Four daughters, right.

And an ex wife and a girlfriend.

Know all about what?

I'm several.

Girl.

Yeah.

You have a girlfriend.

Girlfriend.

Okay.

You know, okay.

All right.

So then you type in, oh, please.

Poor you guys.

Yeah.

Which Teresa from Shitty Song of the Week came back and said, oh, you mean the hormonal.

Hormonal influxes slash changes that we have zero control over that most sensible women understand that it does terrible things to our brains and legitimately can stop because it happens when it wants to.

Sorry, I guess.

And I'm like, wrong yeah.

So in other words, I'm right.

I'm right.

What we have to deal with is you.

I've said it several times.

Women get pms.

Men suffer from it.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Like, you guys are just ruined.

I'm sorry.

Well, I'm just.

I'm just saying I find that hard to believe that every man has the worst experience ever, thanks to shitty women.

No one said worst experience again.

See, this is what women do.

The way you write that, like we have to deal with women.

Yes.

Deal with that.

Yes.

Well, you do, because that's called being a partner.

Right.

And if we are uncomfortable, we try to soldier on and do what we need to do.

But sometimes we need help.

No, sometimes you need a.

Sometimes you need a punching bag.

And what you do is you find your man and you say, okay, he can be a punching bag.

You know, we could.

You know something I don't?

You know what?

Okay, fine.

You're the only woman that doesn't.

I think there's other women that can get by.

I think there are some women who use PMS as an excuse.

Yes, I'll say that.

But I also think there's women that just.

You gotta fucking deal with it.

It is what it is.

You gotta move on.

I dated a woman one time on the 14th day of her cycle, right?

You couldn't get near.

You just couldn't get near her.

Should have thrown some chocolate and a glass of wine at her and I.

Never thought of that.

Aaron says, just tell her to calm down.

That always helps.

That's a winning move right there.

Aar.

There it is.

You just better be wearing some kind of protective gear when you do it.

So, again, this is why I'm saying that women have to own up to their foibles.

It's not always men's fault.

See, what women are trying to.

Okay, there's one thing you can do.

You can either try to get yourself up to a level that a man is, or you can try to drag men down to your level.

So explain.

Why are we not on the same level?

Well, you can't be, because men and women are different and are.

And the thing is, we're like.

You think we're going up to your level.

We're puzzle pieces.

Why are we not dropping down to yours?

No, we.

See, we are the men.

See, we have the masculinity.

You make the prototype before you perfect the original.

I get that.

Yeah.

Right?

Yeah.

God made man.

You were first.

Right?

So you're the prototype.

Right.

We're the best no, we're the actual best.

He made God made woman.

Hang on.

God made woman from a rib of a man.

A cheaper.

Cute.

Well, you are cheap for sure.

Not us.

You.

You were made from the cheaper cut.

We were made.

We were the original.

You're not gon.

You can.

You can think that all you like.

That makes you.

If that helps you sleep at night.

Okay.

So, anyhow, then we had Bruce come in, and I'm going to try to read this because I'm not 100% sure.

He says men attend women for two reasons, sex and love.

But in most cases, men do not marry for sex or love.

Good thing, because you don't get much of either.

They marry for stability.

A man can love you, not marry you.

A man can have sex with you for years without marrying you.

But immediately he finds someone who brings stability to his life.

He marries her.

Men are visionaries when they think about marriage.

They do not think about wedding dresses, bridesmaids.

Anything a woman thinks is.

What's that word?

Fancy.

Listen.

You listen, Bruce.

I'm going to tell you something right now.

If you're going to write something that I'm going to put up on this show, you gotta dumb it down a little bit.

I can't read these.

It's fanciful.

Fanciful.

Think fancy and fanciful.

Anything a woman thinks is fanciful.

They think that this woman can build a home.

Women are tender.

They have the capacity to receive and reproduce.

You give her groceries, she prepares a meal.

You give her money, she needs more.

She give her money, she gives you peace.

You give her sperm, she gives you a child, you give her discomfort, she becomes your worst nightmare.

And men know it.

This is why men can stay with a woman for years and meet another in a month and then get married.

The stability is what they want.

Sex.

I can't read this thing.

I can't read the bottom of it because there's something so close.

I mean, really, women is sexist.

Pleasure.

Love is something.

I don't know.

See if this comes out.

Oh, you zoomed by it so quick.

I'm still like, what?

Okay, okay.

All right.

So I'm just exploding with the comments to each other, but, you know, can.

We see some of these comments?

I've been putting them up.

Really?

The entire time you've been talking.

I understand.

I understand that.

But I was reading and, you know, I can't do two things at one time.

No, you can't.

Mike Pelarito says copies are not as good as the original.

Michael Keaton in Multiplicity I rest my case.

Exactly.

Happy birthday to producer Pelarito.

Hey, yeah.

Happy birthday, Mike.

That's right.

Remember, like, the fourth time.

The fourth copy of the guy in.

What was his name?

I know his name was.

Oh, Soft.

Thinks we're gonna get it on soft.

Well, he says he's just having fun.

Saf fails again.

All right.

Nice to see you, Soft.

I'm glad you're here.

Michael Keaton in the movie.

I guess his character name was Steve.

The fourth copy.

Like, the copy of the copy of the copy was.

Yeah.

And he was like, but, Steve.

Step.

She touched my Pepe.

But Steve.

But that's where you guys are.

It just boils down to.

Eventually, it's just your wiener.

So.

Well, women are trying to demasculate us.

And then some men are helping them.

Hit Touch my Pepe, Steve.

See?

Exactly.

It's one of my favorite movies.

The comments are going so quick.

I'm really trying to.

You guys are giving me a tough time tonight.

Well, now, here's the thing.

Do you have the thing that we brought up that you're going to read the next topic that we have?

I can.

Yeah.

Okay, hold on.

Oh, my God.

Well, you didn't want me to look at it, so I didn't look at it.

I didn't pull it up.

Okay, that is true.

You're.

That's true.

I said that.

I want you to read it because there's some terminology in here that I would like to see, and I didn't realize you're going to be two glasses of wine deep.

I didn't.

I didn't plan on that.

I figured that.

Should I read this or do you want to read.

I can.

I can read it if you all want to tolerate that.

Let's enjoy.

Okay.

So it's regarding men's cuddle groups.

Yeah.

So for a few.

A few years now, half a dozen men from different sexual orientations have gathered in a Plymouth meeting in Pennsylvania twice a month to attend group support meetings that help them address and work through their traumas.

Unlike other popular men's support groups, the support method chosen by this particular group of men is cuddling.

Sorry, no, no, that's.

Again, they're trying to make men cuddling is.

This has got to be a gay thing.

They're trying to make this like it's normal.

Listen, I get it.

Women can be that way.

I don't know why.

Women with their girlfriends, they can hug and they can sit on the couch and sit with each other and do that other stuff.

That's Great.

And Edward, I want to be on with Rave Edwards in the chat now.

Edward, invite me on and please have Raven on to.

Please.

I need that to happen.

We're going to change this up.

I would like to chat with Raven, so let me know.

Edward, have us both on.

Let's do.

That would be fun.

Or have me on and then have her on.

I don't care.

Whatever you do.

It's your podcast.

But I need to be on with Raven after that last episode.

Yes, absolutely.

I need to win.

I need to win her approval.

It means a lot to me.

Also, I'm glad to see you, Edward.

You haven't been in our.

You haven't been in our chat, and I thought you were tied up to the bed and they were having their way with you.

I think Edward might become part of a throuple.

Luis said he would cuddle with you and Bob.

That's great, Luis.

If that was my thing.

It's not, but that would.

That would make.

Nothing would make me happier if that was my thing.

He says full cuddle, no homo.

That's.

There's no such thing.

There's no such thing as no cuddle, no homo.

Okay, so would you like me to continue?

Please continue.

Okay, so men's therapeutic cuddle Group members vouch for the cuddling method, saying it has helped them shed.

Shed down their walls and confront everything holding them back from childhood abuse to a family loss.

A men's cuddling group is a type of support group where men have learned to embrace physical touch through cuddling as part of a support process and healing journey.

Okay, faggot, what's next?

Scott Turner, a founder of a cuddling group, aims to dispel the common belief that showing emotions or vulnerability as a man is a sign of weakness.

Let's run mushrooms.

Okay, Sorry.

Through cuddling, men can be vulnerable around other men and learn to allow others into their personal space without making them any less of a man.

Scott believes that men require an emotional vocabulary to be able to emotion, to be emotionally sensitive to the needs of others.

Hello, lovers everywhere.

All right.

Oh, no.

I'm sorry, but I just.

I don't think Daddy likes it tight.

Not that tight.

I'm just saying.

Yeah, I just can't see this.

It skeeves me.

Am I wrong in saying this?

Listen, I understand the need to cuddle.

I agree with the need to cuddle.

Not with men.

If men are going to cuddle, we need to cuddle with women.

This is what I think we should do.

Oh, no, it doesn't Stop at cuddle.

No.

No.

Okay, if you're going to cuddle, let's just cuddle.

No.

Right.

Okay.

All right, read the next paragraph.

Let's.

Let's figure out what happens at these cuddle sessions.

Okay?

At the beginning of the cuddling session, members are required to agree not to engage in any sexual touch.

Members are also required to ask for consent from their cuddling partner before every action.

Members then gather in a huddle and breathe meditatively.

How do you breathe meditatively?

How does that happen?

Oh, you breathe in.

Breathe deep breath in.

I can't.

My skin's crawling at the thought of this.

And listen, cuddling.

Oh, well, look, if there's a bunch of men that want to do this, that's fine.

It's a gay act, but it's fine.

It's okay.

I don't.

I mean, if you.

If that's your gig, then do it.

Budweuger says, are you allowed to choke each other?

If you ask permission and the other guy says yes, you could choke the shit out of them.

The cuddling process starts with men pairing up for what's is referred to as the motorcycle hold.

This is a type of hold where one man sits and leans his back against the chest of a cuddling partner, which looks like taking a motorcycle ride together.

You don't want to rub another man's mushroom?

No, I do not.

I do not.

Go ahead, Bruce.

Not scissoring with you?

Yes, Bruce, I listen, I understand men.

No sexual touching, but can you spit in someone's mouth?

If you see.

Again, if you ask and they say go ahead, that's fine.

What about a donkey punch?

What's a donkey punch?

I don't know what a donkey.

Is that the punch in the back of the head?

I thought that was a punch in the back of the head.

I think that that's a rabbit punch.

A rabbit punch is in a punch in the back of the head.

Like if you wound a rabbit or if you, if you're going to eat a rabbit, you grab it and you hold it by its hind legs and you just poof behind the head and that's it.

They're done.

The description sounds like an urban.

Yeah, I don't, I don't want to bring up.

Can I bring up urban dictionary?

All right, keep reading while you look.

Let me finish this.

Let me get to the end.

It says members can massage their partner's shoulders or hands with consent and even stroke the other person's beard.

After a 15 minute session, the members are required to Switch to a new partner.

This marks the first half of the cuddling session.

For the second half of the session, the men cuddle as one large group in what is referred to as a puppy pile.

Sorry.

In this pile, men lay with their heads in one another's lap, chatting and joking.

Oh, my goodness.

And so this is what I'm talking about.

They're trying to take.

You're not cuddling with me, Mike.

Forget it.

That way.

Not cuddling with another man.

I mean, not even family members.

Like.

I mean, you could like a cousin or something, or, you know, listen, when you're a man, you come in for a hug, shoulder to shoulder, three pats on the back, and you're out of there.

Anything else?

No.

Motorcycle hug is faggotry, in my humble opinion.

He's the big spoon.

He'll trouble you.

If anybody's the big spoon, I'm the big spoon.

How dare you, Mike.

You'll have to be the little spoon.

Okay, here's what a donkey punch is.

It's a sleazy sex move in which, while the guy is taking the girl anally, he punches her in the back of the head, making her ass, her vagina, contract.

So if you're.

If you're punching somebody in the fart box, if you punch them in the back of the head, their.

Their sphincter tightens up on your member.

On your male member.

Mike says he'd feel very safe in your big hair.

Of course you would.

Everybody feels safe in my big, hairy arms.

Why wouldn't you, Duchess?

Am I a good hugger?

You are a good hugger.

See?

I'm a good hugger.

You would be.

You know something?

You would always remember a jamingo hug.

That might be the title of this Jamingo hug.

You'll always remember Jamingo.

You always remember a jamingo hug.

You better write that down, because I'm not remembering anything.

Oh, here you go.

So.

All right.

What happens?

Rubberneckers make podcasts great again.

I heard that.

We were thinking about doing that.

I've asked.

Listen, I've asked Jody, and I've asked Edward to bring rubber knuckles back once a month.

There you go.

Yeah.

Mike says I would be engulfed.

Like memory folk.

Yeah.

I gotta get in there and give you a big old, big old bear hug.

The best.

I'm sorry.

The best way to.

Organ.

Who's been drinking the.

Oh, sorry.

Hang on.

Go ahead.

I'm sorry.

The best way to.

Fat, lazy tongue.

Tbi.

Oh, my God.

What's tbi?

Damn it.

Traumatic Brain injury.

No, can't.

That's what.

That's what he means.

A traumatic brain injury.

Oh, is that what that is?

Okay.

Oh, from the back of the head, I get it.

Well, I.

No, it's.

Oh, hold on.

See, Lisa is on board.

I say I give good hugs.

There you go.

Nothing wrong with that.

And Mike says he'd be engulfed like memory foam.

That's right.

And that you are just part of John now.

Oh.

See, Mike took it a little weird.

You took.

Yeah.

So you go.

You always go too far.

I don't like it.

This is what I'm talking about.

Like, back in the day, you wouldn't even.

What I'm talking about.

Here's what I'm talking about.

It's.

The thing is, back in the day, when you had issues and you wanted to talk to your buddies about it, you went to the bar, you had a few drinks, you hugged it out.

There was no hugging.

You just went in there and you just had a few drinks and you talked it out.

You didn't.

You didn't have to.

There was no hugging and touching and motorcycle position and puppy pile.

You never went to a bar after.

You know, it's like you're not at a bar one day, sitting there, having shots of beers and about five.

Five of you, you know, your buddies are there.

The next thing you know, you end.

Up on the floor and cuddle.

Yeah, you end up on a, you know, puppy pile on top of the pool table.

That's not happening.

I don't know why I thought that should sound.

Although.

Puppy pile.

Puppy pile.

Hold on, let me write that down.

Puppy pile might be a good one.

Puppy pile.

There we go.

Okay, see, Mike says I hug my friends if I haven't seen them in a while.

Yeah, I do as well.

Right.

But I don't think I motorcycle hug them.

No.

That's a little creepy.

Could you imagine or does someone motorcycle hug me?

Okay, so could you imagine, like, the 30th of December, you're coming here, all right?

And you come here.

Way to tell everybody.

Okay, so you're supposed to be.

Right.

So you're supposed to come here, and we're going to do the show together here, which is nice.

It's nice to do that.

So if you come down the steps and I come up behind you and give you a motorcycle position hug, you'd be like, get off me.

What the hell's wrong with you?

And that's not even a good hug.

Although it could be, I don't know, motorcycle position hugs.

It depends on.

It depends on the.

On who's hugging.

That's true.

You know how that works out.

Okay, I get that.

The Jimmy does not get to do that.

The Jimmy can't give.

All right.

No, no, no.

Hold on.

No.

Motorcycle.

This is interesting.

Who could motorcycle hug the Duchess?

No.

I have to ask this question.

No.

All right.

So the Jimmy can't give you a motorcycle hug.

What about Deuce?

Would Deuce be able to give you a motorcycle hug?

Well, no.

He's married.

That could be weird.

All right.

Wouldn't that be weird?

All right.

Can I give you a motorcycle hug?

That'd be weird.

It'd still be weird.

Okay, so no one can make it sound like somebody to face.

I'm more comfortable.

I understand that, but you made it sound like there was a possibility if there was, you know, how?

Well, you knew somebody.

Bruce wants a motorcycle hug.

Duchess, of course.

I.

I get it.

It's.

Oh, my.

You can kind of modus.

Okay.

You know what?

I'm just saying this.

And this proves my point how this is a gay thing.

That a motorcycle hug is something you give somebody.

You give your girlfriend or your man a motorcycle hug.

You don't give a motorcycle hug to a stranger or some.

Just look up behind my girlfriend and motorcycle hug her.

Right?

Motorcycle hug.

That's creepy.

Right?

That's a very intimate.

That's a very intimate hug.

Don't tell everybody.

Duchess is playing now.

She'll have to wear a bulletproof vest.

Why?

It's not true, Sparky.

You know, one day I'll have to clean up this mess down here and then invite, like, Budv and Sparky.

Toaster.

Lisa says don't tell her secrets.

There you go.

Would you ever give Lisa a motorcycle hug?

No.

See, I never, but no.

Right.

It's a different thing.

It's more sensual than a regular hug.

I would think so.

Yeah.

Bub Bugger says, are you inviting him.

Not to cuddle, just to come and.

Watch the show and have some drinks to visit.

Yeah, Visit.

I'll buy some pizza.

There's no cuddling.

Unless you want to cuddle with Kate.

I don't know.

No, that's fine.

I'm not cuddling with you.

This is what they should do.

One or two things with this cuddle thing.

You get the guys together, and then you have women there to cuddle with.

Like, in other words, if you want to have a puppy pile.

If there's four guys, there's got to be.

It can't stop at a cuddle.

You know, you can buy.

You can pay for.

You can pay for women to come to your house and cuddle you and there's no.

Yeah, what's that?

They're called hookers.

No, no, no, no.

That's different.

That's a cuddle with a happy ending.

Cuddle you too?

Well, yes.

Not really.

They're there, you know what?

Hookers and escorts and stuff.

They're in there to get in and get out.

There's no culling cuddling.

They, you know, they just.

They, you know, they just want to get done and get out of there.

Well, if you're paying them for the.

Hour, you don't pay a hooker.

You pay them to leave and be quiet.

What you pay a hooker for.

Pay them to.

So what I'm saying is that you could do that.

Or.

Or you could get one of those, like, sexual sex dolls that they have.

Oh, you're back to those.

Damn.

Well, I'm just saying these things.

It would be better to cuddle a sex.

Female sex doll than it would be another man.

But they're not breathing.

They're not like living.

It's just like a cold rubber doll.

Like, how is that.

How is that?

Like, how would that make you feel?

Like I can't get a hug from a human.

So I'll just grab this doll on a hook and then just.

I'm just lay against it.

I don't know.

You know, they have these pillows now that you can get.

They're like body pillows.

And when you go to bed, you hold on to yog it.

Right.

Isn't that the same kind of thing in a way?

No, because it's not.

It's not a hug.

It's your.

Your hugging something, right?

Yeah.

It's not hugging you back response.

Yeah, I want a response.

I get it.

All right.

Do you want to pick up.

Do you even remember where you could pick up where we left off?

That I don't know about this.

I just finished.

I finished the article.

Oh, you didn't.

Did you say the members can massage their partner's shoulders and hands with consent and even stroke the other person's beard, literally?

You did say that.

Did say that.

Okay, I'm sorry.

I did say that.

That's right.

With the puppy pile.

You did get the puppy pile.

I did.

Thank you.

I may be drinking, but I remember.

Okay, all right, I got it.

All right.

Well, Mike from Wheelbarrow for Dicks always brings up this one guy.

His name is Will Blunderfield.

And if this guy isn't gay, I don't Know my business.

But he says he's not gay.

No, I'm sorry.

You want to see some?

Go over to Will Blunderfield's Twitter and go over there and check out his Twitter.

There's more.

I swear to God, there's more swinging cocks over there than I've ever seen in my entire life.

Every one picture worse than the other.

He's standing there with his legs all akimbo.

You're seeing his twigs and berries and shit.

Oh, ew.

Okay, let me.

You know who Will Blunderfield is?

No.

Well, let me introduce you.

And this is called penis reflexology.

This is a diagram in terms of penis reflexology.

It's a little bit blurry.

So basically we massaged each other's heart.

Meridians to help release self hatred while cuddling and watching Obi Wan Kenobi.

And it was just so beautiful.

And this is what my Celtic ancestors did.

They would also suck each other's nipples and share.

This is gay.

What is happening?

This is gay, right?

He's a Canadian.

Oh, well that explains everything.

There's beds if you do some more digging.

Spartans were actually doing same sex erotic bonding.

No, they're not.

Hold on.

I forgot the beginning.

This is how it starts.

This is how it starts.

Lingam means I tell you.

What is it with you guys?

I mean, seriously, they'll see you guys.

We'll see.

There's no way I would go out in the woods and get naked and jump up and down and shake my twigs and berries, my beans and franks with somebody else.

Some other guy, you know, there's.

He's in his Twitter thing and the next thing you know, he's got a hold of some guy's pecker.

The other guy's got a hold of his pecker.

It's like they're.

They're in a tug of war over there.

I don't know, but I'm just saying don't sit there.

You know what?

Don't piss in my ear and tell me it's raining.

This is gayness.

It is.

All righty.

There you go.

Lisa says, well, at least we see some blurred out man parts.

It's normally big.

Big tits.

Yeah, I get it, I get it.

Okay.

You've had enough of you had enough.

Nothing like docking in the woods.

Okay, I'll take your.

I'll take your word for it.

Tug of war.

Tug.

It's a tug of war.

I think I need another drink.

They treat each other like pool toys.

They're just like yank, yanking each other around as soon as I saw her bring that glass off their mouth, I said, I know what I'm doing.

All right?

Speaking.

Speaking of disgusting, how old, like, can we have a discussion with some of these artists that were big in the 70s and 80s, maybe even the 90s?

You figure it's 20, 24 if you are hot in the 90s.

That's 30 years ago.

It's been a while.

All right.

Some folks can hang on to it now.

Folks, not so much.

I went to see iggy pop in 1984.

85 at the.

Oh, it's on South.

Years old then right now.

85.

All right, so in 85, what was it?

The TLA.

What does that stand for?

TLA.

Whatever it is, it was called the TLA.

It's on south street and it's a small theater.

And Iggy Pop was playing there, all right?

And he ran around without a shirt off and his long hair and he's spraying everything, know.

And as he does.

As he does.

Right.

Well, he's still doing it in 20, 24.

And the.

Looks like E.T.

look at this.

He's got.

He's got.

Looks like he.

Scoliosis, I was going to say.

And a giant belly.

He's got a.

For a skinny guy with a.

A weird belly.

I mean, good for him.

Like, good for himself.

What, are you kidding me?

Look at this guy.

He's.

He's a little kind of look.

Yeah, it's not.

It's not.

It's not good.

It's not.

I can't critique.

I can't take my shirt off and run around on the stage either.

It looks like he should be an actor.

I know I shouldn't do it.

And somebody should be giving him a bowl of porridge.

He's got that distended belly like the.

People that don't eat.

He looks like he has a hernia.

Like.

Horrible.

Like people.

Come on.

Somebody's like his tour manager, say, listen, Iggy, I get it.

Put a fucking shirt.

Put a fucking shirt on.

Wear a tank top.

Yes.

If he sang like this, all skinny and then just that one chunk of his belly, like.

I'm kidding.

I'm not kidding.

It looks like a hernia.

He doesn't look.

Well, it does.

It doesn't look like we're going to have Iggy in this dimension for very much longer, to be quite honest with you.

Bud Rugger says he needs to take a shit shot.

I guess he needs to take a.

Are you saying he's bloated?

It's all distended.

I'VE seen starving kids.

African kids more nourished.

I've seen starving Africa kids look more nourished.

It's the truth.

The business on the top party on the neck down from Josh, right?

Good God.

He looks like the entity from Smile.

I haven't seen Smile, but I can only imagine.

Oof.

That's not good.

All right.

Not good.

And Mike says he looks like E.T.

He does look like E.T.

i said he looks like E.T.

It'S weirdly.

It's a weird shape.

It's like a barrel chest, but with the belly.

It's a weird look.

You know what it is?

It's a very alcoholic look.

It's an alcoholic drug abuse.

It's not awesome.

He's treated his body like a dumping ground, to be quite honest with you.

I'm sure of it.

And I say that to say this.

You know who else needs a stylist, to be quite honest with you?

Sydney.

Cyndi Lauper.

Here's.

Here's Cyndi Lauper.

It's the Goonies theme.

Is that what that is?

Sounds like the opening to Goonies, which is the best movie ever.

I've never seen the Goonies.

Oh, my God.

How could you have not seen the Goonies?

It looks like she's wearing a space diaper.

Yeah, her.

Her stage.

She's on tour now, and it's.

That's.

It's.

I noticed they got all faraway shots.

Like, they're showing.

This is the hot.

If there ever was a hot Cindy Lauper.

Like, this isn't the Cyndi Lauper.

Like, hold on, here we go.

It's not 1980s Cindy.

No, it's not.

We are the world Cyndi Lauper.

Yeah.

I mean, it's not.

But I'm just saying she's.

Iggy pop is 77.

He can't die young at this point.

He's made it.

Yeah, there you go.

But Cindy's got, like.

It looks like she's wearing a diaper.

I'm not lying.

The way her pants look.

It's not.

It's not her best look.

Yeah, it's.

It's a little.

They look a little weird around her butt.

Yeah.

Poor thing.

And I love Cyndi Lauper.

I think she's amazing.

I think she's.

Yeah.

Love her.

Like, her songs.

It's not her best.

Not her best look.

True colors.

That's what I'm saying.

I still have Goonies.

I'm sorry.

I love it.

She sings, like, with that Brooklyn accent.

That New York Brooklyn accent.

Yeah, totally.

Yeah.

All right, so now we get to go to Shania Twain.

Now listen, I'm going to be honest.

When Shania Twain came out, when she hit it big, stunning.

I was all.

I mean, she was.

I'm sure you were.

I loved her.

They had on VH1, you know, they had the behind the Music.

And she told her story how she came from nothing in Canada and she started singing and she was a smoke show, smoking.

She's beautiful.

She's stunningly beautiful.

And then she hooked up with this record producer, Mutt Lang.

Yeah.

Ugh.

Okay.

Like a piece of turd.

And this.

And I mean, you want to talk about out kicking your coverage?

Mutt Lang looked like a mutt, but he was like this really good record producer and he basically made her, you know, like, she didn't have any really good singles until says I ruined many socks to Shania Twain.

Yeah, I get it.

Oh, gross.

I know way too much about you now.

Yes.

So.

So then what happens?

Like, you could.

If you had a hot wife like Shania Twain would you around with on her?

Would you like he cheated on her, on her or their best friend.

I don't know how you cheat on.

Was married.

Her best friend was married.

So Mutt starts cheating on her.

So what does Jania do?

She starts fucking the husband.

The husband of the best friend.

Flip flop partners.

It's like a.

It's like an episode of Steel Toe.

But they didn't kick out the guy.

Except nobody got arrested.

Well, they didn't kick the one guy out, you know, just kept, you know.

So anyhow, so Shania is on tour right now and this is how she looks.

All right, so she's got a white flowy thing on, but she's in like a bikini.

Well, okay, so she's got this, like, it looks like a long overcoat, like a trench coat looking thing.

Oh, let me get it back here.

I fucked and the undergarments.

Yeah.

You know, she's obviously, we're trying.

There she go.

That's a good shot.

With Beyonce and Nicki Minaj and.

And all of the.

All of the younger artists, which I get.

Like, you know, she's trying to stay relevant, but Shania Twain doesn't have to try that hard because she's beautiful.

Right.

She's not sure what she's done to her face.

Like, because her face is different.

It's different.

So I don't.

She's had some work done.

Yeah.

And she's wearing this weird, like, it's a two thing.

It's.

It's like A one, it's a two piece, but it's hooked together like with weird little straps in the middle.

And then like some kind of body.

It's like a bodysuit.

It's like a weird thing, but the front looks like a big goddamn piece of Depends or something.

It looks like it's almost.

It's very thick material isn't great.

She's beautiful.

She shouldn't have to dress like this, right?

You don't need to garner that attention because you're stunning.

And is her singing that great?

I don't know.

But it's.

It doesn't matter because it's Shania Twain.

You know, they say that she's.

Nobody's mad.

Lip sync kicking her out, right?

They say she's lip syncing kind of like Frankie Val.

You ever see Frankie Valley?

Just sits there with a microphone and the music's playing.

He's not even moving his mouth.

He's like holding it to his ear.

He's like a ventriloquist.

He just sitting there in.

The music's playing in the background.

Yeah.

Here you go.

Sparky says she just needs to stick to wearing leopard skin style clothing.

If she put the leopard skin on with that body and she's 60 now.

I think she's 60.

Yes.

She's 59.

60 years old.

She looks fucking fabulous.

Like, I'm not dissing on her look that the clothing out, the outfit choice is not the best.

You know my opinion, I don't look like that.

I wish I did.

I wish I looked that bad on a good day, right?

But like Mike says, oh, darn, Shania Twain's in her underpants.

Nobody's mad again.

Nobody's kicking her out of bed, right?

But if I had to say, like that's not.

Out of all her looks, not her best.

Listen, she doesn't have to try that hard.

No, she's beautiful.

She is.

You know who else needs a stylist and needs to stop with this?

The skippy outfits.

Madonna.

Madonna has a dumpy ass and it's not good.

I don't think she's dumpy.

I mean, she's very athletic.

Still, like, she.

Okay.

Still gets out and, and can put on a full show.

I mean, is she, is she moving like Beyonce?

Like.

She doesn't move like Jennifer Lopez.

No, but who, who is 55?

I think 54, 55.

Looks fantastic.

Is she talented?

Who knows?

She's crazy.

But I think Madonna's also a bit older than her.

But you know, I, I want to, I want to cheer For Madonna, I really do.

And then, like, I see some of the things my girl, why are you wearing that?

Like.

But also, like, you do you.

Girl.

Like, whatever.

I.

I can't look like that.

So.

Whatever.

I don't.

I don't want to be shady on her because she looks.

She has better costume choices, I would think.

So what you're saying, Duchess, is you do.

You boo.

That what you're saying, you do.

You boo.

That's exactly it.

Yeah.

Okay.

Just checking.

See, I think it should be more.

Like, all right, Ghetto Brittany, let's go.

Oh, dear ghetto Madonna.

I.

I.

Like I said, I'm not.

I've not been.

I was.

I.

When Madonna came out, it was like her and Cyndi Lauper both kind of came out around the same time.

And I was Team Cyndi Lauper and Madonna just eclipsed her.

Like, it was a.

It was a competition.

And Madonna won.

Oh, absolutely.

I guess on the.

On the airwaves and stuff like that.

Madonna.

I'm not saying Madonna's not talented, but I thought Cyndi Lauper could write better songs.

She could write better songs.

Okay.

If you're going to get into this, Madonna was a better singer than Sidney Lauper, but Sidney could write better performer, perhaps.

I think she could perform.

No, she's a better singer.

Get out of here.

Okay.

That's ridiculous.

She sings better than Cindy Lauper.

Madonna.

Yeah, she did back in the day.

Sure she did.

I had a friend.

It was like a Madonna freak.

Like, everything Madonna.

He had everything Madonna.

And I mean, I was like, okay.

Her performance at Dick Tracy was underrated.

I'll take Duchess over all them.

Look at Bob over here.

You're very kind.

Bob wants to give you a motorcycle hug.

So full of shit.

You're very sweet, but hold on, I.

Gotta write that down.

Motorcycle hug.

Okay, bud?

Voger says Madonna moves around like her anus is prolapsed from too much flex.

Yeah.

I didn't read all that when I started reading it.

You got in the middle of that and didn't know what to do, did you?

I need to keep going.

I was like, all right, bring that.

Up and read that again, please.

Oh, Madonna moves around like her anus is prolapsed from too much black Snake analysis.

All right, Mike, 44:14.

Shut up.

I wanted to get that isolated.

Thank you, Duchess.

I appreciate that.

Well, anyhow, that's.

I just.

Like I said, I saw, like, Iggy Pop, and I was like, dude, oh, my God.

That doesn't look good.

Put a shirt on.

Yeah.

And Then I saw, like, Cyni Lauper in her space suit diaper.

And then, you know, Shania Twain.

And listen, Shania Twain, I think, still.

Still got it.

I mean, none of them are JLo.

She's like, 59, so she could still get away with it a bit.

And we were talking earlier, like, if you compare that to, like, Tanya Tucker, if you're gonna go country, or she's road hard, put away wet.

She's a mess.

And.

Or Dolly Parton, who's almost 80, who from a distance looks fabulous.

But the problem is she's had so much work done.

Or choppers.

Her teeth.

She got a bad set.

Yeah, she's all like.

It's.

It's her song.

She can't sing.

She sounds like me out.

Because I love Dolly Parton.

She sounds like a Southern Nancy Pelosi with those clacking choppers of hers.

It's not.

It's not good for her.

But she's so teeny.

Like, when you see her on interviews, she's tiny.

Oh, yeah, she's tiny.

She still wears the heels.

She still wears the clothes.

She's got the boobs up.

She looks.

You know, if I look like that at 79, I don't think I'm mad.

Well, there's a lot of.

Listen, there's a lot of construction.

I mean, those boobs aren't staying up by themselves.

I'm sure that's going.

You know, those suckers are.

Yeah, there's a lot of gravity.

A lot of things holding up.

Define gravity in those.

In that bra.

Exactly.

And she's actually.

Yeah.

Bob says she's putting together a Broadway musical.

I think that's great.

Dolly is.

No, that's good.

Yep.

Don't get me wrong.

She's exceptional.

I think Dolly Parton's very talented.

Probably one of the best female songwriters.

I mean, she's.

She's amazing.

Yeah.

And, you know, she wrote Jolene.

She wrote that hit that.

I'm trying to think.

There's a couple people.

I will always love you.

I will always love you was an.

Amazing song, and Whitney Houston destroyed her version of it, like, because Dolly Parton sang it.

Very sweet.

But Whitney sang it, like, with a different version.

But I still like Dolly Parton's version of it.

I do.

I'm not mad at it, but I love Whitney's version better.

What are we on?

Shitty song of the week.

Hold on.

Let's get out of here with this.

All right, all right.

We've.

We've messed around enough.

Got to get into it, ladies and gentlemen.

Okay.

Donald Trump, of course, is out now being the President of the United States.

Nobody knows where Joe Biden is.

No one knows.

He just shows up sometimes and gives a bunch of money to somewhere else.

Oh, my God.

He's been throwing money in a fucking hole.

Stop giving our money away.

It's like he went to Africa.

Once the election's done, they should stop how much money people can give.

Listen, I took civics class, okay?

From what I remember, the House of Representatives has the purse strings.

It's not like the president can go, you get a billion dollars and you get a billion dollars, and you get a billion dollars.

It's crazy.

Yeah, so what does Biden goes over to Africa, goes over to Angola, and listen to this.

He says to the people over in Angola, give a billion dollars to the people here so they can get out of squalor.

And.

Okay, all right, fine.

The problem is we got people where.

He fell asleep during the conference.