Tesla Hat | Episode 283

All right, you guys, podcast time.

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Give our show away for free and tell no one how to find it.

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I'm gonna start a podcast that has no focus, and it'll take up an inordinate amount of time.

Welcome to the Boomer Bunker.

This podcast tackles the tough topics of the day and shares some laughs.

I'm thrilled to introduce your hosts.

First up, she's my adopted mother with a fantastic set of cans, the Duchess.

And joining her, he's a crusty old Boomer whose rants get raves and isn't afraid to tell it like is, and also has a nice set of cans, John Jamingo.

Together, they'll navigate the latest headlines, dive into deep debates, and maybe even share stories from their past.

It is the number one podcast in In Heaven.

Without further ado, here are Duchess and Jamingo.

Hey, everybody.

How's it going?

We fired the old announcer.

Oh, that douchebag.

Listen to him today for a little bit.

What a lion.

Loser.

I don't know if you know who I'm talking about.

Talking about Eric Zane.

Easy.

But you know what?

We didn't check because you look a little.

You sound a little low there, Duchess.

Okay, Sorry.

I'm sorry.

You were just away from my phone.

Get that mic.

Get up on that microphone, kid.

I'm up on the mic.

You know how I am about.

You know how I am about podcasting.

You're fussy.

I'm a very fussy guy.

Yes.

Who doesn't know.

Not.

Doesn't know much about podcasting.

So anyhow, I don't know.

You know something?

I'm in a mood today where, like, song parodies are popping in my head.

It's like, today it was like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Everybody in.

Discord's fighting.

Ha.

Discord was on fire today.

It's some tense, terse arguments.

It's hard.

There's no context.

You don't hear the voice.

Well, the other thing is that you don't get the tone.

You know, what happens is, like, when you have work friends and high school friends and other friends, and they get together, and those friends don't know each other, so sometimes it's a little tension.

You're, like, in there trying to play peacemaker.

Not me.

I just pour gas on everything and light a match.

Fuck it.

Let's see what happens.

Match like dynamite.

Like hold the door closed.

It's like, I got a cyber car and.

And a passport and an.

Ready to go.

That's right, baby.

All right.

Today's hello, everybody in the chat.

Everybody's all fired up today.

Good, good.

I again, it's.

The holidays are over.

Thank God.

I hate.

We're gonna get to you, Mike.

We're gonna get to you, Mike from Wheelbarrow.

Hang in there.

Full of dicks is in here today.

Red from Shitty Song of the Week is here watching.

Love those guys.

Bruce was here.

Oh, Bruce started his morning show, the Weathered View on X.

I always call it Twitter.

And that's what kind of started the big kerfuffle.

Can I say clear fuffle.

How do you say it?

Clerfuffle.

Clear fuffle.

There's a C and a ker.

Fluffle.

How is it?

What is it?

I don't know.

There's a waffle, a kerwafle.

All right, we'll go.

All right.

So New Year's came, and then at 3 o'clock in the morning, some guy in a pickup truck with an ISIS flag goes around the barricade.

The cop sitting there with his car with the lights on, so you can't go.

He's like, screw this, they don't pass here.

Yeah.

Up on the sidewalk.

Goes right around him and goes screaming down the street.

Kills.

I think that death toll's up to 15, or I think it's 14 in him.

I don't count him.

Then he stops the car, gets out, start shooting at the cops.

Well, I'm telling you, they lit him up, as they should have, and he did.

Pathetic.

That whole thing is very bizarre.

It's.

I don't understand.

In a city that deals with tourists, hundreds of thousands of tourists.

Plus it's, it's the football weekend.

You got the Sugar bowl, so there's thousands of more, more people than normally.

And then I don't understand why they didn't have a better barrier system.

Like, because what just happened in Germany two weeks ago.

Well, in Germany, they said, well, we had everything blocked off, but, you know, we have to have an emergency entrance.

And then they didn't think that maybe they would go down the emergency entrance or whatever.

I, I don't know.

So we're going to have to beef it up.

But here's the thing.

I think that we need to take away everybody's cars because if we're going to use these cars to kill people, then that's it.

Nobody's allowed to drive.

And I don't want to hear it because I, I, you know, when we took the.

Here's the thing.

Guns are in the second amendment.

Cars are not.

No.

So they can come take your truck.

Yes.

They go.

Hey.

Yes, Mr.

Domingo, please give us your keys.

We're done.

You're done, and you're gonna go.

Oh, yes, sir.

Here.

Mr.

Domingo, this is the police.

We need the keys to your truck.

We're taking your vehicle because people use them to kill other people.

Yeah, why not?

Okie dokie, right?

That's right.

See?

Well, why wouldn't they?

I mean, everybody's screaming.

As soon as there's an a mass shooting, they all run to X, Twitter, social media, whatever, and the first thing is, we need to stop these shootings.

And the one way we could do that is take the guns away from everybody.

And that'll stop them.

Well, we need to stop these car deaths, you know, running over pedestrians.

We need to stop that.

Here we go.

So now we're descending into madness.

Take away the.

Take away the forks.

Forks make people fat.

See, Sparky, see, there's a flaw in your logic, because I don't need a fork to eat.

I got these two things right here.

Those electric vehicles are quiet, man.

You can't hear them coming.

That's true.

It is true.

Well, you know something I don't?

When you're.

When a car's coming down the road, I guess you can hear it running, too.

Up, up.

Gobles here.

Apples and orange.

Goble, Goble.

Goebbel was the German Hitler's side guy.

You're killing me now.

I can't, all right?

That's not apples and oranges.

One is it causes death, and the second one now is causing death.

All right?

You have these vehicles, and these people are out there running people over.

And if we take everybody's car away, look at how many lives we can save.

See, this is.

You don't care about people.

You're selfish.

There.

Google.

You just care about.

What's Red say?

Outlaw guns.

And only outlaws who have guns.

That's right.

See?

That's right.

Red's right.

And if you outlaw cars and only outlaws will have cars, it's kind of hard to conceal a car.

I get it.

I get it.

I know where Red's going.

But.

No, I.

I mean, we have to get rid of these cars.

We got to get them off the road.

Look, think about all the people we would save, the lives that we would save.

What tree?

Oh, your tree.

I was gonna say Mike.

I'm gonna leave this up for the end of the month.

You know, here's the funny thing.

And I knew Mike was gonna be here tonight, and I knew he was gonna say something about the tree.

Because it was January 2nd and I have a tree back there.

I took my tree.

It's right over here.

I'll do a tour of my living room.

Cause it's all Christmas, all day.

It's all, it's off camera, but it's sitting right over here.

But I knew Mike was gonna say something.

He's that guy.

He'll take a picture of your background, he'll scour your background to find out if there's something back there.

Yeah, okay, well, here's my tree right there.

Yeah.

But I think we need to get rid of these cars.

I don't like it.

I mean, look at how many lives we could have saved.

And then we had the car bomb that went off in, in Vegas.

And they were trying to send a message.

See, you had the cyber car, which was Elon Musk, that's Tesla.

And they blew it up in front of Trump Towers.

So they're sending a message to Trump and Elon.

All right.

They were.

The problem was he put the explosives in the cyber car.

And that thing's made out of stainless steel and you can shoot it with them.

It really contained it quite nicely and shot it up.

The only person it killed, supposedly was the driver who had already shot himself in the head.

Well, he was shot in the head.

Let's.

Yes, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

I mean, it is a self driving vehicle.

Who knows, Duchess, I'm telling you right now, I am sure that the FBI is on top of this.

Crack, crack FBI.

And they will let us know exactly what happened.

They will not hold anything back from the public.

Like I heard that he also had his dog tags, his military dog tags on.

And he also had his passport and just convenient, right?

And then the passport didn't even burn up.

Just like on 911 when they crashed the plane into the tower.

One of the passports from the hijackers just happened to go through everything and go out the other side and land on the street.

Not burnt, not torn, just there.

And also got to remember Flight 93, that thing went in, tunneled into the ground, went straight down.

There wasn't anything.

You couldn't find a piece of anything there.

But what did they find in a tree?

Another hijackers passport.

It's amazing.

I'll tell you what, I don't know what they make these passports out of, but they should start making cars out of them because they're indestructible.

They really are.

It's amazing.

Those passports are fucking incredible.

Certainly they're all over It.

Hey, listen, I understand.

And look, you know, with me, it's.

There's the tinfoil for my hat.

Here's the issue.

Yes.

Remember when they had that Vegas shooting at the.

The concert?

The Jason Aldean concert.

Yes.

Yes.

Now they're saying it wasn't.

The guy wasn't even shooting out the window.

They say there was helicopters that were flying.

They were shooting from the helicopter.

Black helicopters.

They were shooting into the crowd from helicopters.

Okay, I know nobody believes it, but.

But if you go to.

You go back to.

And there's a website.

Damn it, I can't.

I should have had the website.

There's a website that has all these things, and what they have is the.

The.

Do you ever see the thing you get on your phone, it's called Flight Tracker, and you get on your phone, it tells.

All right, it had that.

All right, a recording of that, where these helicopters took off, flew up, flew around, flew right where at that time?

Where the.

What was it called?

The name of the Mandalay Bay was sitting there.

And then they all flew away.

And then a while back, they came back again.

So who knows?

But I'm sure, you know, the FBI wouldn't lie to us.

Oh, and there were shootings all over Las Vegas that night.

We didn't hear about any of it here.

None of it.

All right, here we go.

When this initially happened, people were saying there were multiple shooters in the crowd.

See?

There you go.

See?

And the crowd in the air.

And the crowd in the air was all over.

But, you know, our crack FBI.

And you know what else?

Here's a funny thing.

I mean, you know, what are the chances the guy, the police chief that was in Vegas that day.

Well, he left.

He wasn't.

You know, he quit.

And then where did he go?

He went to Maui.

And then they had that big giant fire in Maui, and it burnt all those houses down, except for the ones with the blue roofs.

I forgot the blue roofs.

The blue roofs.

And now in China, the fire repellent.

Blue roof.

In China, they're.

They're taking.

And they're taking blue, and they're putting it all over their roofs.

They're covering their roofs in blue because.

I don't know, I guess fire hates blue.

Well, fire's red, right?

Fire is red.

It burns up and it sees blue and goes, whoa, wait a minute.

We have to go.

Nope.

Over that.

Right around this.

Well, of course.

I mean, the government would lie to us.

The media wouldn't lie.

Government.

The government wouldn't lie to us.

The Media wouldn't lie to us.

That's, you know, they're there do that to help us.

Right?

Isn't that what they say when they knock on your door?

No, we're from the government.

We're here to help you.

Oh, that's right.

That's right.

Oh, also, you know, one of our, unfortunately in, in New Orleans, they had the, that event.

But one of the, the senators from New Orleans is one of my favorite senators.

That's Kennedy.

Kennedy, is it John, John Kennedy, right.

Yes.

He's one who puts the lube on.

That's right.

Puts the lube on and gets him on his knees.

That's so gross.

It's so gross.

So, okay, so here is, listen, I did, I had a bad day today around here.

So usually I pull these videos and all.

No, I've been lazy.

I'm going right to Twitter.

This is an audio podcast, so it doesn't matter as long as you can.

Hear it, it's all good.

I'm praying you can hear it.

All right, so here we go.

This is on FOX News.

Joining us now from New Orleans is Republican Louisiana Senator John Kennedy.

Senator, thank you very much for taking some time out for us.

We know that you're very busy talking with law enforcement on the ground.

There are a lot of folks in this country tonight that are afraid of what's happening in New Orleans.

And I know that you're trying to get answers tonight as police search for other potential suspects, possible co conspirators.

Tonight by all accounts, with this new surveillance video we have now with what we're learning from police, this sounds to be some sort of sleeper cell, a terrorist cell on US Soil.

Is that what you're hearing?

Well, I should.

There's a fine line between anger and grief and I'm pretty much straddling that line right now.

If you don't believe in objective evil, all you need to do is go walk about 30 or 40 yards that way.

I'm here for two reasons.

Number one, these are my people and these are my people's guests.

Number two, I don't want to hear from anybody in the federal government that they don't have the reason.

Now the White House, the FBI, Justice, Homeland Security are in charge now.

We're cooperating with them.

I want to give them a reasonable period of time.

There's a lot of information out there.

Some of it is actually true.

I want to give them a reasonable period of time, but they need to saddle up and ride.

We need to find out what happened here and it's not going to be covered up.

We're going to tell the American people exactly what happened.

And that.

And that's why I'm down here.

We know a lot more than what's being reported.

I should.

But they are in the middle of an active investigation.

Not.

I want to do anything to screw it up.

Okay.

But I'm also not going to let them take the pressure off.

Okay?

Got it.

Senator, you did promise transparency earlier in the press conference that you took part in this afternoon.

Are you getting the same sense that the FBI had been tracking this suspect, or are you getting the sense that they perhaps somehow missed this?

I can't answer that.

I can't answer that.

But that means yes.

That means yes.

What do you mean you can't answer it?

So.

Right.

And you also.

An interesting response.

It was.

Yeah, right.

So then he also did a.

A press conference.

And.

And what a mess that was.

Right.

And so then he's sitting over there and NBC, he says, they go.

They go, oh, look, NBC's on the right.

And he goes, I don't think so.

They're not on the right.

So they go, I don't get it.

And he goes, I knew you wouldn't.

So then, our favorite border crosser from the View, Anna Navarro.

Whoops.

Wait a minute.

Here it is.

Here's the thing.

Say something.

Here it is.

Here's what it is.

So this is what happened.

Can I say something?

Tell me who you're with.

WSU.

Okay.

And CBS.

NBC's over here on the right.

Oh, that's unusual position.

I don't get it.

You.

You wouldn't look.

All right, so that was what?

So then Anna Navarro says at least 10 peoples was killed in a D attack in your.

In his state.

Hell of a time to distasteful attempt at humor by Senator John Kennedy.

The reason I bring this up is the comments are so tasty.

Here we go.

The terrorist attack happened because your guy left the border open, turned FBI resources to attacking Catholics and MAGA grandmas and normalizing America.

Hate in America.

In Americans.

Hatred of America, perhaps.

Sit this one out, tubby.

Lay off the Twinkies.

Oh, my God.

There's a picture of like, her eating a box of Twinkies.

Like a box.

Like a case.

Oh, dear.

Here's one.

He's mad.

He has a right to be.

I like how he elbowed that FBI front woman right out of the way.

No one needs to hear their evasive and cover up story right now.

Yeah, he did.

He pushed her right back.

He just like, stepped right in front of her.

Like, okay, we're going.

Here's one.

First time I hear, first time hearing him speak.

He's not being funny.

He's insulting the media for being biased and then again for not comprehending what he meant.

As if you could recognize humor when it happened.

Anyway.

Yeah, I mean, she's on the View, right?

Poor msnbc.

I can hear the violins.

So again, and just every time someone comes on to Twitter from the left, right.

They immediately get ratioed in the, in the comments.

And I'm 100% for it.

He shoved her and said for the Confederacy.

It looks like he could, looks like he could have said that.

Here's one I, I got.

Your news station has worse ratings in the Food Network.

Perhaps focus on that a bit more.

Yeah, that's just a mess.

That's not the, and the, the message on that.

I mean, if you're gonna take any light hearted bit of anything from this entire event, it was, it was funny.

And I think people needed a moment to like, you know, reflect on, have, have a little bit of a sense of humor because this is such a terrible situation.

I don't know.

Yeah, here, this Trump.

I love when they use the AI Trump holding a box of Kleenex.

Nick DePaulon.

Oh, he's a charmer, that guy.

You're humorous like the rest of the twats on the left.

Please shut the up.

So, so I think it's funny, but yeah, and then like I said, the cyber truck, that guy, he, he, that.

Truck maintained that explosion quite nicely because any other vehicle would have like blown out the windows on the Trump.

The Trump building.

So what happened?

So this guy blew the truck up and then shot himself or did he shoot himself and then blow the truck up?

They indicated that he had, he had shot himself.

There was a self inflicted bullet wound.

Okay.

Which killed him and then the truck had exploded.

Okay.

So I don't know if he triggered something and then shot himself or was shot and his vehicle was driven there because Tesla.

And then they blew it up.

Who the knows?

I'm sure there'll be conspiracy theories.

Here's a, here's a funny thing.

That guy, the one that.

With his dog tags.

Schrodinger's suicide.

Yeah.

And he had the dog tags and all that.

That guy there, you know, he was a Green Beret and he was trained in explosives.

Now don't you think that he could have made a better bomb than what they actually made there sound like the, you know, why would he just use like gasoline or fireworks.

I mean, I'm pretty sure he planned it.

Do you think?

I'm not 100 and you know something, here's something else.

Or somebody planned it and he just was there.

Well, I don't know.

Yeah, again, you know, it might be me.

I don't know.

I'm just asking questions.

Just me asking questions.

But you know where he was out of, where he came from?

Fort Hood and.

Oh, you know where the other guy from New Orleans came from?

Fort Hood.

Would it be Fort Hood?

Yes.

And here's again, just asking questions.

Probably just a coincidence.

Throwing them out.

Just throwing them out there.

Yeah, go ahead.

Remember the guy that was at the golf course and he sat there for 12 hours and was going to shoot Trump?

Oh, the one that they all missed.

All the FBI and Secret Service didn't see him.

Listen, the Secret Service was five feet away from him, shot eight shots and missed them every time.

And missed them.

Yeah, just missed them.

You know where he, he went and visited Fort Hood over a hundred times.

Sure.

It's just a coincidence.

I can't imagine that those things will be like again.

I know, I know.

I'm a conspiracy theorist.

Everybody tells me this side to barrel there, John.

Just trying to make it all work.

When you see these things happen and you say to yourself, God, I don't.

Yeah, how does that happen?

How do we do?

When does this happen?

Yeah, well, boy, that's funny that, that all just perfect lined up together and amazing coincidence.

I know that's all it is.

And I'm sure the FBI and Homeland Security and the secrets are.

I'm sure they're all over that.

Absolutely.

And once they finish their investigation, they will go to the, the mainstream media and they will tell the American public the truth.

I'm sure that's going to happen.

It has to.

This is America.

The media doesn't lie to us, right?

Of course not.

I have 100 faith in our media.

I think that's my thing for 2025.

I think I'm just going to be more skeptical.

More skeptical.

More skeptical.

I'll get you some more tinfoil.

Yeah, I'm gonna need more.

Everybody send John, tinfoil, please.

Here's the thing.

I think my tinfoil is worn out.

I, I don't think it's as protective as it once was.

You need the thicker stuff.

I do.

I think I need, need the heavy duty aluminum.

Yeah, I might just take some.

I might ask Elon Musk to send me a stainless steel cyber hat that I could just, just put it on like a Tesla.

Oh, my God.

You know how much money he would make if he actually.

Jesus Christ.

Tesla.

Like a SCUBA helmet.

I gotta write these titles down.

Tesla hat.

Yeah, please.

We get done with the episode.

I'm like, I don't remember what we said.

It's always, always the way I'll get done.

And they'll say, what'd you talk about?

I'm like, I don't remember.

I don't remember.

I have to go.

Should we talk about.

Go look.

I listened back to see how funny I was or not.

We have our moments, I think.

Yeah, well, you know, just one of those things.

Hey, I don't know if anybody was paying attention yesterday.

Yesterday afternoon, but at 1:00, Boomer, Bob and Tom took over this show and they came on and they did.

They did.

They started doing a show and I was in the chat and I was kind of doing some things, and then.

So they took over our.

They took over our stream.

Those two.

Those two guys took over our stream.

And then Bob says, he said out loud, I couldn't believe he said this.

He says, boy, I wish John would come in here and answer these questions.

That's all you had to say to me.

You didn't even have to say it out loud.

I blipped in there.

So then I took over him taking over our show.

He did.

And then Dutchess said something, and I said, come on in.

I saw somebody had written it, but I didn't know who it was.

And then the four of us did about another two hours exactly.

Sparky says, and shortly after Dutchess showed up.

Shortly after Dutchess showed up, I was working on emails.

So I was like, in front of the computer anyway, so I was like.

Okay, yeah, the email's over.

So the funny thing about the.

The show is when we came in, we did take it over, to be honest with you.

Sorry.

And there was this one point where.

I know where you're going.

You know, I like to make a point.

And sometimes Duchess tries to steer me away, or she talks when I'm talking, but underneath.

And here's the thing.

I don't mind if Duchess disagrees with me, but what I would like her to do is let me make an ass out of myself first and state my point.

And then after that, she can come back and tell me how wrong I am.

I have to wait my turn.

Yes, that's all.

Wait your turn.

So apparently when I woke up this morning, producer Mike said, hey, there's a part I can't seem to Download the video because he has access to our stream yard and he has access to stuff.

So he says, hey, you know what?

Is there any way you can pull this video for me?

Because I got an idea.

So of course I did.

I pulled the video and he sent us a video.

Now, I haven't seen it yet.

No, haven't seen it because we don't know.

We don't know who's going to get picked on here.

We don't know if it's me.

I think it's going to be me.

It's going to be Duchess.

I'm sure it's no idea.

But there was a little dust up between the Duchess and I.

Yes.

And then we just kept going and it was funny.

After the show, I sent her a message and said, are you mad at me?

And she's like, why would I be mad at you?

So then we ended up talking.

Yeah, but let's find out what producer Mike said.

Listen, we need to educate.

We need to take edge and not.

And I'm not just talking about us.

I'm talking about white people, black people, Hispanic people, Americans.

No, hang on.

Just saying.

If you want to say that.

American.

Okay.

American Hispanics, American Caucasians, American blacks.

We need to take education.

Right.

I can finish my sentence.

I don't need you to help me over there.

Yeah, I can if you would shut up.

Suck it, sidekick.

If we take everybody.

Damn it.

Oh, no.

Oh, that's fabulous.

Yeah, I got this.

That's what I got.

It was in the moment.

I need that in stories.

Please send me that so I can share it in our social, because that's hysterical.

Thank you, Mike.

You can put that on Tick tock.

Yeah, we could put it on TikTok.

Thank you, Google.

Google head says brilliant.

Yes, I was.

I'd have nothing to do with that.

All I did was clip the audio or the video and send it to him.

That was all sucket, Sidekick.

All right.

And Tom says, $20 tip for gangsta touches.

Okay, so here's.

Here's the funny thing.

So when I went in this.

When I went in to make the intro, when I had to use Devin from heaven for the intro of the.

Of the podcast, I went in and I saw Dutchess say, suck it, sidekick.

And I was like, what the fuck is this?

Because I it.

So I saw it.

I was like, what did he use this for?

So I wasn't sure where it came in from, but I was pretty good.

Sock it, Sidekick.

I gotta get.

I think I can go back and pull that and Actually put it on the soundboard.

I didn't say that.

I know you.

No, it's AI Duchess that said so.

Oh, okay.

He went in and he went in into 11 labs and used your voice.

And said, sockets, kid.

Oh, my God.

Like, was I that mad where I said that?

No, no, it was just.

I got this.

This I got.

That's gonna be a staple of the show, to be quite honest with you, right here.

A.

Okay, so today, yeah, for some reason, Mike comes into our discord.

Now, listen, a lot of podcasters have their own discord.

Mike from Wheelbarrow Full Dicks has their discord.

Aaron from I had to say it had as his discord.

So a bunch of us have discords.

Red has a discord I'm not invited to.

I wasn't sure.

I'm just saying I'm not part.

I'm not part of that discord, but I am part of Mike's discord, and I'm part of Aaron's discord.

And we have a discord, too, that anybody can come in.

So Mike comes in and says, what's this Weathered view?

Weathered report.

Is that about the weather?

So this starts a big kerfuffle.

Now, I know Mike.

When I first started interacting with Mike, he's a troll, but he's.

And when he trolls for me, I.

I would get mad at him, and I would go back and fight him, but now I know what he's doing.

So what I did when we had this thing, I just went in and said, troller.

Yes.

So the next thing I know, there is a notification that pops up in Mike's discord.

So I go, okay, what's this?

So I go over to look at it.

Now they're over in Mike's discord arguing.

He says, you're adding sass.

Yes.

So Mike comes over, and I find out that Mike's bitching in his discord that I insulted him, and he wants.

An apology in our discord.

So he's talking shit in his discord.

In his discord about all our discord.

You following this?

Is this too much for you?

Yeah.

So then I go in there and I put troll alert and his discord.

But here's the thing.

It's like when you have friends, and then you bring your friends in.

Like, say you have high school friends and you have college friends, and you have work friends.

Okay?

And then you go out somewhere and you invite your college friends and your work friends and your work friends.

Don't know your college friends.

Okay?

Everybody knows each other.

Differently, Right?

They know.

Yeah, they don't know.

So the next thing you know, someone pops off and you know that your friend's not that way, but your other friend doesn't know that.

And next thing you know, they're in a fistful.

You're not in a fist fight, but they're in a fight.

They're in an argument, and you're like, jesus Christ.

Yeah, they're in a.

They're in a kerfuffle, whatever that's called.

They're in your waffle.

They're in a waffle.

They're in a Waffle House.

Usually by, you know, if you're ever there, 3 o'clock in the morning in a Waffle House with a bunch of black people.

You know what I'm talking about, right, Duchess?

I don't go to waffle.

There's no Waffle House here.

That's true.

You know, okay, here's a little trivia question for you.

You know where the closest Waffle House to us is?

Elkton, I would think it.

I'm not going to be like, Tom, I'm going to tell you.

Right.

I'm not even going to give a chance to answer.

It is Elkton, Maryland, is the closest Waffle House.

Actually, we were going to stop when we did.

My girlfriend and I did the Mammoth March two years ago.

We were in Maryland, and we could have stopped at.

We could have.

It would have been a little bit out of the way, but we could have stopped, actually.

And I'm a fan of the Waffle House.

I am, too.

We went to Tennessee a year ago, and, man, I went.

We went there for like, three days in a row.

Paul was like, do we.

Do we have to go back here?

I'm like, yes, yes.

We didn't.

I want to be smothered.

See, Duchess likes to be smothered and covered, as they do at the Waffle House.

I don't know what that means.

You don't get your.

When you get your hash browns, you don't get them smothered in onions and covered in cheese.

Oh, is that what that means?

Okay.

I don't.

I don't know the whole.

Gotta get it.

You got to get your smothered and covered.

The hell.

It's weird.

They just take, like, a piece of cheese and, like, just drop it on there.

I'm like, oh, okay.

Is that how to do it?

But maybe that's an Elkton.

Like when we were.

No, that was in Tennessee.

Oh, really?

Yeah, it was like an American.

A piece of American cheese.

They just drop it on top of the hash browns.

Yeah.

On.

On my eggs and the.

On the grits.

They just.

It was like a square cheese.

It was very strange.

Really?

Yeah.

Interesting.

I've never had that issue.

Maybe that's a new thing.

Well, here.

So here's what Jody says.

Scattered, smothered, covered, chunked.

Chunked top.

There you go.

That's it.

That's how it roll.

That's how you roll.

Sounds sexy.

Here's the thing.

What's better?

It's good.

Waffle House or Cracker Barrel?

Oh, different.

I'm a.

I'm a Waffle House over a Cracker Barrel.

I don't know.

I've been to more Cracker Barrels.

Yeah, me too.

There's one right down here.

Right down the street here.

Yep.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Always off the thruways.

Like off a 95 somewhere.

I.

I don't know.

I think waffle.

I think the Waffle House is an experience.

Yes.

And with Cracker Barrel, it's like if I want to eat and then go shopping.

Well, it's a lot of shitty things.

Yeah, it's all the touristy shit.

But yeah.

I heard somebody the other day say.

And that's the first time I've heard this.

Here you go.

Waffle House versus IHOP versus Denny's.

Yeah, okay.

Denny's out now.

Denny's.

Waffle House over IHOP about 20, I'm.

Gonna say, 35 years ago, there was a chain here and it was called Sambos and Sambo.

It's called what?

Sambos.

Oh, no, no.

Yes.

That is wrong.

It was.

I think that's what happened.

I think Sambos, either they were sold.

And had a name, closed the doors and gone forever.

But there was a Sambos in.

In where I live, you know, near me and.

Okay, here we go.

Tom says Waffle House for breakfast.

Crack or bow if you want a meal.

Okay, I'm on board with that.

I think that's.

Yeah.

And I agree with Jody.

IHOP sucks.

Yeah.

But here's the thing.

We're in New Jersey.

We're in Jersey, baby.

And in New Jersey, you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a diner.

And I'm sorry, people, if you don't live in an area that is abundant with dine.

Oh, Sambo's turned into Denny's.

How about that?

I did not know that.

So sambos are like.

Whoa, hold on.

Whoa.

Sambos.

I have something to talk about.

Denny's.

My sister in law had bought Paul and I gifts.

Do you ever see the coffee Mugs that turn like that.

Once you put the coffee in it, like, the picture changes.

My sister in law had bought us mugs, and it was a picture of Santa.

And then when you put the coffee in, Santa darkened up.

Oh.

But.

Yeah, but it was like they.

Those mugs, like, vanished because they.

They were kind of.

They called them racist.

And then, like, looking back, I'm like, they could have been.

They really could have been, because Santa was just like white porcelain.

Then you put the coffee in and he turned a whole nother color.

And then.

And then he stole your Christmas gifts.

Okay, this is about to get racist.

Yeah, but Denny's.

I've never been.

It's been a long time since Denny's was okay.

Yeah, yeah.

Here's the problem.

It's a shame.

Like, the cook would come out of the Denny's kitchen, and you look at the cook and you're like, I just lost my appetite.

Yeah, they're just like dirty and sweaty and it's like.

It's like someone who just got out of prison.

Yeah, it's just that guy.

I'm like, but the Jersey diners.

And what's great about Jersey diners is you can get breakfast at any time.

Like, I always like to go to a Jersey diner, get a breakfast for dinner.

You can't go wrong in New Jersey if you get breakfast or you get a hamburger or cheeseburger.

Cheeseburger diner.

Cheeseburgers are amazing.

So let me tell you a story.

You know who the worst person to take out to dinner is?

The Jimmy.

The Jimmy's the worst person to take out the dinner.

And I'll tell you why.

I heard what he did to that poor little girl selling pretzels.

So I can't even imagine taking him to a restaurant.

Okay, so we go to a restaurant and he goes and orders a steak.

And this is how Jimmy orders.

I want a steak.

I want it medium, but not too medium.

I want it between medium and medium rare.

So I order what I order, because I just order off the menu.

So they bring it back.

He cuts it open.

And as soon as he cuts it open, I'm like, he doesn't like it.

So now he's gonna send it back.

He's like, oh, this isn't good.

He says, this.

This is too.

It needs to be done more.

So, yeah, the waitress takes it back, brings it back, and then now it's overcooked.

And he says, it's.

Now it's overcooked.

She goes, well, we'll make you another one.

So I Said to him, I said, there's.

You couldn't pay me enough to eat that steak.

When it comes back, you know, they've.

Dropped that on the floor.

They dropped it on the floor, they kicked it around.

They spit on it there.

I would never eat.

I said, why?

I said, I hate coming out to dinner with you.

You.

You order like a Jew.

Jews order like that.

They're like, yes, yes.

They.

They.

They.

They tell you exactly how they want things.

Now Jody says, do we have biscuits and gravy up here?

Yes, we do.

But we also have something that's even.

I think is even better, which is creamed chip beef on toast.

It's kind of like the softest sausage gravy.

But they used chip beef, and I like to put it over home fries.

Oh, it's pork roll up here.

Pork roll?

Yeah.

I think Jody would like pork roll.

And you guys have that scrapple shit.

Oh, scrapple's amazing.

I love scrapple.

That's parts.

That's like all.

Yeah, diced up parts, but not the pork rolls.

Much higher.

It's essentially like Spam almost.

Ish.

No, because I like Spam, too.

Spam's.

Spam's a canned meat.

Scrapples like a.

Like a loaf.

Like a sausage.

It's what they actually.

It's called scrapple, but what it's actually called, it's called liver loaf.

No, I meant pork roll is similar to.

To span.

Canadian bacon is like, yeah, that's terrible.

What?

Canadian bacon.

No fat on Canadian.

It's like.

It's just chewy.

It's like a chewy pink.

Right?

I'm a sausage person.

When I go, I like the sausage.

There you go.

Mike 43.

Thank you, Mike 40, please grab that mic.

4033.

God damn it.

As soon as it came out of my mouth, I was like, I like the sausage.

No, but again, I.

I was talking to Jimmy the other day who says he went out to dinner with someone, and he says.

And he's talking about.

And he's talking about order.

And I'm like, there's.

What does anybody learn not to go to dinner with you yet?

Why does he just order food?

Nobody ever cooks right for him.

Why doesn't he just order something else?

Because he says, I want to get something I never got before.

I said, well, how do you know you don't like it?

I said, you go out and order something, you don't know if you like it, then you get it, you don't like it, and you look at the person.

I Should have got what you got.

I was like, again, I go to a restaurant, I order that I know I'm gonna like.

Why would I order something that might.

You spend a lot of money.

What is Jimmy ordering?

Steak.

And just burgers.

Just order a cutlet.

It's a nightmare.

To go out cutlet, get chicken parm.

It's always cooked.

Exactly.

Chicken parm.

You can't go wrong with a chicken.

There's no pink in chicken parm.

No.

If there is, you're eating in the wrong place.

A pasta dish would be easy.

A diner pasta dish.

Amazing.

Seriously.

And almost anything off a diner menu he would be fine with.

Well, here's the.

Some.

Some diners in Jersey, they have like an encyclopedia.

I'm like, why would you get all this stuff?

What I like to do is order stuff that I know that everybody's ordering, so you know it's fresh.

How long has a steak been in a diner?

Who's going to the place and order a steak?

You know.

You know what's great in diners?

Meatloaf.

You can get an amazing meatloaf in a diner.

Not like I.

Lisa to that was it the Vincentown Diner.

She got the meatloaf there.

That guy Fieri.

Fieri had gone there and raided it and.

But the.

It was huge.

It was like a massive slice of meatloaf.

But they're famous for their meatloaf.

And did she like it?

She did like it.

See, there you go.

So diner tips from Jamingo Bud Bugger says no seafood.

No, no.

You know what?

A shrimp.

You know, if you get early bird.

If you get early bird.

Because they.

Those are moving, right?

Because that's all.

The seniors are eating it.

So you.

If you get like tilapia, which is garbage fish anyway.

I know I don't eat that.

I don't eat seafood.

But it was.

They.

They're spinning it out.

So it's not like you're getting a 10 o'clock piece of fish.

A fried shrimp.

A fried shrimp's not bad because it's frozen.

It comes in frozen and it can, you know, it's not going to be there that long.

But kids eat fried shrimp, so you want something that moves along.

You don't want, like king crab from.

Yeah, don't get scampi.

Right?

Don't get scampi.

Don't get scallops.

It's not.

Most of the time it's shark.

It's not even scallops.

It's shark.

Well, given the prices of everything.

I mean.

I mean, I wouldn't eat seafood at a diner anyway because it would be expensive as hell for minimal fish.

You know what I mean?

Like, you're not paying a lot, so you're not getting, like, high quality stuff.

Like you said shrimp and some kind of flounder or something.

That's what they always seem to have.

Mike was like, the other day you made a brisket, and I was like, oh, my God.

How much was.

It was really good.

Yeah, but it was £5.

It was £5 of brisket.

Yeah, it's got to be.

It was like that big in the pan.

It was huge.

It was.

It was very good, actually.

Turned out I did not have a lot of leftovers.

The boys, like, hoovered that down like crazy.

Yeah, I.

I'm doing that now.

When I buy stuff, I'm.

I'm making it in the smaller.

Oh, Texas Roadhouse.

Yeah.

Going to Texas Roadhouse and asking for the trout.

Yeah.

That's ridiculous.

Don't go somewhere where they specialize it.

Yes.

If Jimmy wants steak, that's where you go.

You go to the steak.

Yes, that's right.

They can cook it there.

They cook some ste.

The Texas Roadhouse is excellent.

Yeah.

Love a good Texas Roadhouse.

I've never been there.

I've been to Longhorns.

Oh, really?

I guess similar that.

Yeah, there's no.

I don't think there's a Texas Roadhouse.

Tell you something right now.

You go to.

Well, see, you're.

You like bread, right?

I do.

So you go there and they got these rolls and they come out and they're piping hot.

And then they have a cinnamon sugar butter.

You crack them things open.

You slather that with cinnamon sugar butter.

And it all.

It almost.

Almost going up.

It's better.

I swear to God.

It's better than crack.

It is better than crack Load says.

He gets the burger at Steak at Steakhouses.

But that's good burger, though.

That's a good burger.

Yeah.

There's nothing wrong with a burger to steakhouse.

Yeah.

Chicken at a steakhouse.

Well, it depends.

I mean, if you're.

Yeah.

Kids are eating chicken nuggets.

You know kids.

Or fry or some kind of fried chicken.

It's probably okay.

I know it's like down there and get like, chicken franchise.

I'm like, no, no, no, no even.

Well, and another thing we have really good around here is a lot of Italian restaurants.

So nobody goes to Olive Garden or.

What are the other ones that.

You know?

The chain.

I like the chain pizza places like Sbarros and Stuff like that.

They're always the ones in the mall.

One year, Paul put up Christmas lights in front of our house.

Now we have a ranch, so it's not, like, giant pitched roof.

It's like, pretty much a flat, you know, in front of the house.

And he hung up.

He.

He got these lights, and they're Christmasy, so they're red, green, and white.

He's like.

And he put them up.

I said, it looks like sars.

It looks like pizza lights.

So he.

Every year, he hung up the lights.

I'm like, it's pizza lights.

And he, yay.

We get the pizza lights around.

So every time he hung it up, I was like, I know.

He was so pissed.

He was so pissed.

So we just did.

Stopped hanging him up after a couple years.

But, yeah, it was good.

We did go out for Mexican food on New Year's Eve, and that was.

There's a ton of, like, authentic Mexican restaurants.

Not much around here.

Yeah.

Oh, there's like, five, probably within 10 miles or delicious.

All our Mexicans are in the lawn service around here.

None of them cook.

Yeah.

Oh, well, a lot of them.

They eat at the restaurants here.

So I don't know if, like, some of them are cooking and then the other half is at the restaurants, but this was.

Yeah, our Mexicans are either picking fruit and vegetables out of the.

Or they're.

They're cutting your lawn.

You learn that Italian, Val.

A.

Oh, use, use.

You got.

Is a.

Is it what you call, like, Nunzio back there?

Yeah.

My favorite Rodney joke was, oh, boy.

I did this one Italian place.

It was rough.

I'll tell you, on the menu, they served broken leg of lamb.

Ho.

As a South Texan, please visit and we will go to tour the food.

Oh, nice.

I'm with you, Google head.

I'm down.

All right, so here's a funny thing.

I don't know if you know.

So we're talking about Discord, People in our Discord, because a lot of them are here watching live.

Marshmallow, she's an enigma.

All right?

She says that she listens to all the podcasts she knows, and she knows Brand X Lore.

I don't know how long she's been listening.

Okay.

Never seen a picture of her, never heard her voice, nothing.

She's a ghost.

She's like a ghost.

Yeah.

So.

And she's funny, and she's very sarcastic.

So you were leaving.

You're not gonna be here the 23rd or whatever it is.

Enigma, please.

Jody.

I messaged Marshmallow, and I said hey, Duchess is gonna be here this Thursday.

What?

Would.

Would you be interested in coming on and being a co host?

Oh, explains your answer to me.

Okay, well, wait a minute.

Hang on.

Don't get ahead of me like you do.

Don't.

You know, just.

Wait a minute.

Let me.

Let it cook.

Let it cook.

Okay.

So she says I wouldn't be a good guest because I don't have a microphone or a computer.

Exactly.

That's what I did.

I went, no computer.

Who the fuck doesn't have a computer in this day?

Now I know she's doing on the phone.

I get that.

But who doesn't have.

What person doesn't have a computer in this day and age?

I just.

Like I said, it's just.

I have no idea.

Don't.

How.

Have no idea how old she is.

Nothing.

I have no idea.

Marshmallow has been Jody the whole time.

Please stop that.

Don't tell me guys are so.

So over there.

God damn it.

I don't think so.

That would be a troll.

Because I got.

That would be an amazing.

That would be an amazing troll.

Here's the thing.

Because I got in a fight with Marshmallow one time and I banned her from the Discord because I thought she was a guy.

I mean, I had no idea.